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dealing with a parent infidelity

yellowIdea7518 June 29th
.

i found my dads messages and interaction with another woman online. it’s not surprising but i feel heartbroken for my mom. no anger, just sadness.


i don’t know what’s the reaction to have. i want to have a healthy perspective on this entire thing… need some help unpacking this and seeing reality from healthy angles


anyone healing from this i could really use your advice, thank you.


5
toughTiger6481 June 29th
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@yellowIdea7518

Of course we can be shocked / surprised and sad/ or angry for our other parent ..... but we often do not have all the information. 

It is hard IMO to really see  parents are people .... in a relationship outside of being  parents....  Most parents act better around kids like nothing is wrong.   Many feel their relationship is not connected but who we are effects every relationship in our world.   when we are happy or unhappy kids know.  

Some fight openly  or are truly unhappy yet think it is best for the kids.... There is no one size or answer ........but some may find that maybe they are better parents/ role model for kids...... when they are happy as people.     i think we can see things differently depending on our age and experience.  Grown kids can see with hindsight parents may have been better off apart.... MOST kids choose a side and can have a difficult relationship with the other parent. 

What would you like to do with this information? 

 Was your reaction to confront him or tell your mom?      there are probably many scenarios in your head.... what do you fear will happen?  they break up and how that effects your world ...  what happens next?   



dukeofdearham June 29th
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@yellowIdea7518,

I understand this must be hard. You could consider talking about it with him in private. Other than that, it's not your business and it's something he (and your mom) needs to sort out.