@spectacularPink5877
In my opinion it might be because toxic people are often romanticized in popular media (books, tv shows, movies) and people find those kind of relationships more interesting. Who would ever want to be with the boring, safe, good guy next door, when they could have a rollercoaster of a relationship with a sociopath who can change his mind every five seconds, who treats you poorly but then says he loves you and can't live without you?
I don't know, maybe some people actually like the thrill, the uncertainty, the intense emotions. Kindness, stability and safety are taken for granted, overlooked, because people prefer to feel strong feelings.
Or it might be because they get manipulated into such relationships. Maybe the toxic person is manipulating them so that they get so entangled in the toxic relationship that they can't get out. And that's terrifying if you think about it. They might be convinced that the toxic person is the only safe place to be, while all around them there's burned ground.
Bro, I've been asking myself this question a LOT lately. For me, all I can think of is that my mom was pretty toxic too. I'm not blaming her for my relationship troubles, what I'm saying is that I learned at a young age to accept toxic behaviors and adapted myself to them. When they manifest themselves in a relationship, I'm an idiot and make all sorts of excuses to accept them and continuously believe things can get better.
Just got out of yet another toxic relationship a few weeks ago and I've been really deep diving into this subject and this just my perspective
i would agree to some extent to both of the other posters so far.
1. people like drama and toxic people often create or provide drama... the TV and movie love people with drama...
2. if you grew up around it you may tend to down play the severity or excuse some behaviors....
toxic people know how to turn on charm and be spontaneous and stick out ... probably makes them more noticeable for a person to be attracted to.
while some may think Yeah we all know that .... the choice to chose toxic again is like knowing you probably shouldn't but convince your self it will be ok....
@spectacularPink5877
I can only answer for myself. I come from toxicity. My family dynamics are nuts. For me, I don't mean to choose toxic people (relationships, friendships). The last one started off very loving and didn't show any signs right away. It was after time the signs were more blatant. It was comfortable for many years to be with toxic people because it felt like home. Until the last two years where I began to seriously let myself go and began to question everything, including myself/my actions/thoughts etc.. Now, I am all alone and processing everything that happened and working on myself so I stop doing this to myself. I get upset over those I had to let go because they were my heart but overall, I don't want to be with anyone or around anyone who is going to hurt me anymore.
@spectacularPink5877,
some people just feed on others.
But I'd be careful before labeling behavior or someone as toxic.
You might meet someone who triggers you. Like they mirror you or in a way it feels like they come too close. Because they truly care. And you might run into your own issues, and get triggered.
Then it's not them who are toxic. The toxicity is old pain, past, and if you don't realize you blame the other and the situation becomes toxic. Not them.