What do I do?

I've been dating this guy for almost 3 years, and it started off great, I felt like a normal human being with him, it was healthy, unlike the toxic relationships I was used to. He went AWOL for a while but came back and explained it to me thoroughly, making sure I didn't think he just up and left for no reason. Things went good again. And now, we're talking more than ever, so why do I feel so distant and disconnected from him? I know I care about him deep down, but I've steadily been getting worse, more depressed, anxious, and my bipolar condition isn't making it any better, as it's giving me periods of apathy. But I know I can talk to him about it, and it's the fact that I know that, but I don't WANT to that is getting to me. One minute, I'm happy to talk to him, the next, my mind is actually screaming at me to just walk off and never talk to him again for absolutely no reason. I don't understand it and it's only making me feel worse and worse, and the icing on the cake? I tried to talk to my best friends about it, and they just said I'm being psychotic or a female dog because I'm in a relationship and they haven't been able to keep a relationship longer than 2 weeks, their words not mine. I'm confused and I don't know what to do.