Topic of Kids, Cultural expectations, diabetes and other health issues

My husband and I have been married for 1.5 years, dated for a few months prior to that (not typical in the cultural background we come from). On our date last night, he brought up the topic of kids and that his mom was hinting at us having one when he spoke to her that morning. He then clarified that he doesn’t want one right away but maybe by 2025 we should have one. Honestly, I’ve had multiple panic attacks between last night and now so I know this is super long and it’s okay if you don’t read through it all, but I would REALLY REALLY appreciate any advice you may have.

This isn’t the first time we’ve spoken about kids; when we got married we discussed that we don’t want kids at least in the first 3 years. After last night’s brief talk, I noticed the numerous other times over the past few weeks that he directly or indirectly talked about our future kids in random conversations, but it was never discussed openly. That makes me think it’s been on his mind for a while but he hasn’t known how to bring it up. Here are my issues with it:

1. I have a diabetes (t2) which my husband knows about. I’ve had it for many years and it hasn’t always been very well controlled. As far as I know, it’s because of underlying PCOS and insulin resistance caused by it. Since I’ve had it for years now, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve also developed high blood pressure and some level of kidney damage but I haven’t gotten those checked out in the last 2 years. I have recently started a program to try to reverse the diabetes and at least keep any associated complications from getting worse.
2. Birth defects, miscarriages, preeclampsia, and a whole bunch of other risks are increased when the pregnant person has preexisting diabetes/hypertension/etc. Upon my husbands insistence, I recently switched to a new job and as a result, have moved to a state that has a near total ban on abortions. I don’t mean abortions for people who just don’t want a baby, I mean even life-saving medical procedures in the event of a miscarriage or something else going wrong with the pregnancy. The only exception is if I’m literally standing in death’s doorway, by which point there will be permanent damage done to my health IF I even survive. Also, there are a whole host of women who had something like this happen to them who are speaking out about it. And they didn’t even have other conditions that made theirs a high risk pregnancy.
3. My husband claims that he just wants me to be healthy and there with him, and if it’s a choice between me and a baby, there would be no question that I’m more important to have with him. BUT despite knowing about my condition, he hasn’t bothered trying to learn about what it is, how it works, the complications and risks that come with it, even the ones that come with being pregnant and having diabetes. The way he discussed the topic with me last night was also so casual that he could’ve been discussing what he wants for lunch the next day. I have told him at least 3 times in the past that pregnancy with diabetes comes with a lot of major complications, both for the fetus and the pregnant person and it’s something that needs to be extensively reviewed with a doctor before even trying, and also a description of some of the very likely common risks. Still hasn’t bothered learning more about it.
4. This is a bit of a continuation from the last point but still a different concern. Hubby is about 6 years older than me so a lot of his friends and their wives got married and started having kids fairly soon after, and I know a lot of his friends advise him to do the same. His parents are also directly or indirectly pushing for it, though I can’t fault them since they don’t know about my condition and it’s a cultural expectation. I’m not sure to what extent they would care but I know they would definitely tell us to seek out a doctor's advice before trying. My concern is that hubby is just parroting the things others are saying to him rather than think for himself what’s best for both of us. Because besides parroting his friends and parents, he has maintained that he hates kids and can’t stand them. When we first discussed kids, I floated the idea of adoption and he shot the idea down as soon as I said it, because he’d rather not have kids at all than adopt.
5. Probably the least important concern but I’m not at all traditional and have been very career-focused. The job I just started at is also at a top tier company in my field, and there’s nowhere farther up for me to go outside of this company, so having to leave for any reason would be devastating career-wise. If he was in my position, I don’t think he would be okay to drop a great job like this one and go somewhere else for a non-career related reason.
6. I was okay with being single for life until my husband came along, and I married him because I saw the same streak in him, to be unconventional and constantly striving to climb and be successful, doing something extra or working out to be healthy and look good. In fact, my current fitness program is motivated by the same mindset, to lose weight, get healthier and fit so I can sustain going on adventures and leveling up career-wise. I thought having him in my life would better it than if I were single. Now I’m starting to feel like all those things have disappeared and he’s turning into a typical south Asian traditional man, which is exactly why I had been set on staying single for life.
7. Ive started to feel pretty demotivated, because the last 4-5 years have been really stressful for one reason or another and I’ve constantly felt rushed because every time I start getting into a rhythm at some place, there’s either some reason to move or be forced out, or it’s a stressful place to be. Happened in college, then with my first job, second job, everything related to the wedding, the entire first year of marriage. After moving here, I was starting to feel like this would be the place I can finally settle into and focus on myself for once. Now this added stressor is making me question everything all over again.
8. Last but not least, hubby has struggled financially despite being out of school and working for 5+ years. He cleared off a substantial debt a year into our marriage but hasn’t been able to save part of his income despite his income going up. I have money that I’ve been saving up to pay off my student loans so it’s not money I let anyone touch, including myself. Basically, our savings are negligible, not enough to pay for even a normal pregnancy, let alone a complicated one.