Solutions

 DO NOT RESPOND

I'm so frustrated with my husband right now. I've got covid, I've been throwing up for the last several days. I ordered groceries for pick up, apparently messed up and didn't send the order all the way through. I went with him to pick them up, but because of my mistake, we left empty handed. The thing is, that was all the food I can eat. With me throwing up, I can't eat things we have at home already like sugary cereal, spicy ramen, burgers, even spaghetti is too much. So I was getting foods like crackers, yogurt, and applesauce. I explained all of this to him in this much detail. He even looked up some info himself to confirm what I was saying.

Cue getting home. We'd already started bickering in the car on the way back from the market. I ultimately got to the point of tears because the only thing digestible for me in this apartment right now is an avocado. But after I told him that I had decided on that, he kept pushing other "options" (that weren't really options because I can't eat them) like spicy vegetarian chicken nuggets, chili beans, and spaghetti. I not only kept telling him that my plan was to have the avocado, but also repeating that all of those other options will make me sick. He kept saying "Well I don't have a solution for you then". There wasn't a question for you to solve? We were finished, decisions were made, plus, I know he knows (because we literally just discussed it) that the food "solutions" he kept offering weren't even I could stomach. It was almost comical at that point. I don't know why he pushed and did that, I can't wrap my head around it.

The issue is we've talked about it again and again and again, and I brought it up this time because it happened again... Sometimes, when you're listening to someone, they're not always looking for advice or solutions. Sometimes they just want their feelings validated, and to know they're not alone. I got to the point of being explicit that "I do not need a solution, I have one", what I need is empathy.

To be fair, he had covid too, he's just gotten through it better than I have (I can't shake this fever). I've definitely had moments of extra patience, also had instances of being short though. He's done his best to take care of me, and for that I'm grateful. I couldn't have done this completely alone. For that, I'm the AH here. 

At least typing this helped me really cool down. I feel really bad.