Resisting Attraction/Attachment
Hi there! I'm going to be moving to a different state to start a school program for 6 months, it's really exciting but makes me really nervous for a bunch of different reasons.
One is that I really don't want to be attached to anyone I meet there. It always makes me really distracted and stressed out, and it's never ended well - it's never reciprocated and I end up feeling pathetic and creepy.
Problem is, I almost always find myself attached or fixated on someone once I'm in a new environment. It happened when I was at a few different jobs, whenever I hook up with someone, etc. I just get so so attached to certain people and I can't stop myself from thinking about them and worrying about what they think of me.
I really don't want this to happen when I go to this new school. I know it'll just make me frustrated and bring my mood down. I feel like I'm not acting like an adult when I think about people constantly, it just seems so immature and annoying of me.
I feel like it's inevitable, and that scares me. I hate being like this.
(for context, I'm ftm, mostly attracted to men.)
@coyoteskies thank you for sharing this with the community, skies.
i hear you. it really is not nice how you always end up finding yourself in situations like this :(