Need help
I'm in love with a person who lost her previous long time partner to an accident a couple of years ago. She's not over him and often talks about him, listening to songs or just in general. She's aware of my feelings but is not ready to accept my love as she's still stuck in the past, and every time she talks about him, it hurts like ***. What should I do? How do I help her through her own grief to one day be able to accept love?
@charmingBranch7954 Grief can be a very hard feeling to cope with and to let go of. I think you should talk to them about their moments with their lost lover and see if you can relive some of these moments with them to make them feel special and enjoy your presence.
@1CuriousHeart thank you so much. Yes, I try to do that, by being supportive when she's talking about him. Listening to songs that she used to with him, and stuff like that. But it really hurts, that the person I want so bad is in love with someone else... I'm finding it hard to cope with that. I'm also afraid what if it gets worse, that she begins to miss him more if I ask her about him and the fond moments she had with her.
*with him
@charmingBranch7954
Have you considered she might be afraid to let you in ... to love you.
what if she lost another person. Some hold on too tightly to a memory to use it as a shield. People also often feel uncomfortable moving on when a death occurs they hold on tight worried that the memories will fade.
It is possible IMO to love someone else without forgetting or replacing the feelings you had for another but she needs to realize that for herself.
@toughTiger6481 I hadn't thought of that. She says she wants to let go... But whenever she's sad, that's all she can think of. I try to be supportive but it usually doesn't help