Narcissism
why don't I get attracted to normal people? why do I only get attracted to narcissistic people ?
how can I fix that?
I know this is not right I don't know how to stop it though 😔
@oliveGrapefruit4875
Do you think you may in general like confident people? Sometimes there's a difference between a narcissistic person and a confident person. It's really hard to change personal preference but I'd say that attraction usually changes as we age!
@sunnyWriting4806
yeah , maybe it's about confidence , it's just that it always comes with pain for me 😞
@oliveGrapefruit4875
For sure and I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe stepping back a little bit and analyzing the attributes you're attracted to might help you handle this whole thing out. Wishing the best in all cases.
@oliveGrapefruit4875,
be careful with labeling others as being narcissistic.
For instance, if you have needs and it feels your needs or not being met doesn't make the other person narcissistic.
Phrases like that are used too often. Always ask, what can you do to improve a relationship, instead of wanting someone to do the work for you.
Express boundaries and needs. Mutual understanding takes time, effort, space and self reflection.
@dukeofdearham
I'm not saying that they were narcissistic as a random word , I've gone through everything from love bombing , ghosting , gaslighting , smashed self-esteem , arguments without any purpose or meaning or real reasons , abuse , shouting , cursing ,suspecting myself and my reality all the time , am I wrong? am I the reason of things not going well ? have I said that? etc.. hovering over and over , it's always about them , my talks doesn't matter unless it's about praising them , what they are , what they have , what they did bla bla blah, and they're never happy about it , I'm never enough for them , it always end up by cheating , it's not healthy i know , i just dont know how to make my mind not to give these people a chance
@oliveGrapefruit4875
Hello Olive,
Sorry to hear that you have been through such painful situations. Mostly empaths and people with codependent tendencies and anxious attachment styles attract narcissists. And narcissist are drawn to them. According to psychological researches, it is due to your upbringing. If you are male, relationship with your mother can make you grow into adult who has the issues I mentioned above. Or if you are female, in this case your father. So one of your parents may have narcissistic tendencies as well and one of them or both might neglected you emotionally as a kid.
It happens when someone has poor boundaries, cant love themselves and looking for validation externally. Because that was not given to them as a kid within family.
I would highly recommend you to read on emotional neglect in childhood, codependency and anxious attachment style. This might be your issue if you see you can not break the cycle of attracting narcissists. Understanding what are the deep rooted issues that cause this in your life is first and important step to fix it.
You can text me anytime if you want to talk about it. This issue is fixable. So please do not lose hope.
Best