My partner watches adult films knowing how I feel about it
Okay so to make this short, one time I surprised my partner by visiting them at their house (we live separate and in different states) anyways, I saw the good ole large lotion bottle next to their bed. I made a joke about it but then later told them to throw it out because I knew what they were doing with the lotion next to the bed (they even admitted). Anyways, my partner has never had someone tell them to stop doing that even though they have been watching adult films for years. I trust my partner but this one thing bothers me. Few months pass by and my partner gets another large bottle of lotion claiming it is dry and cold outside so they are getting cracked skin etc. …. Now I don’t want my partner thinking I’m crazy but I can’t help but to think they are at it again with the lotion when I am not there? I mean there isn’t really a way to tell if someone just totally stopped cold turkey after years of doing it right? So I guess I just don’t know what to think or how to overcome this as it makes me not want to give the affection I want my partner to have from me… any advice? Would love to hear both sides to your situation similar if you guys have any..
@sunnyShip6354
thats definately true that once you have seen something its really difficult to believe that it does not happen anymore . i understand where you are coming from but did you ask him to use his energy else where . its not possible to stop it just because you ask him to. but its possible if he uses that energy elsewhere .
@sunnyShip6354
I guess my question is if this is a habit / addiction for him like other addictions would you just say i do not approve so quit drinking/ smoking and then be surprised or disappointed if they did not follow thru? If you are apart and even without movies... many do self items while your assumption about lotion could be correct but lotion does have other uses.... and if he says it is for dry skin and you say no it is not you are .....again. Where is the trust ? Will he trust you or frankly hide this or more things from you knowing as long as you do NOT know it is OK.... i do not think that sets a good path for relationship.
other then doing it a long time and as you say "no one else told him to stop...." Did you have a real talk about what is he getting out of this stuff and IF he sees this as an issue ect.