My partner has Erectile Dysfunction and I feel lost
So to keep things as short as possible, my partner has E.D, and we’ve been together for months. It has been this way before we met he says. Apparently years. Anyways this has been a bit of a struggle for our intimacy so he went to see a doctor. Doctor told him he needs to speak to a therapist or counselor for anxiety and depression. My partner has also been watching adult films for years but I am sure he didn’t tell the doctor that as he feels embarrassed about it. I also told him it makes me feel that it ties into the E.D. a little as I feel I am not good enough. Every time we become intimate it never leads or ends anywhere. Versus when he is on his own with adult films everything is working fine… anyways you get the point of this I’m sure…I love my partner but I’ve never been with someone who has experienced this and I don’t want to put blame on him if he has no control over it. If anyone has any advice on how to navigate through this that would be helpful. I’d love to hear either side’s experience of this scenario and hear both sides. I want to be supportive but everytime we are intimate I can’t help but feel less than. Its a shame because I’ve never felt this way before. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you
@sunnyShip6354
It is a difficult issue to deal with and can have many causes .... it can really strain a relationship and embarrassed or not about porn......... he needs to chose you ,,,,,,,,,,,and getting help in whatever form that takes ... therapy or medications etc... i read up many articles on the subject and it was helpful to see all the feelings and frustrations being in a relationship with someone with ED are what most go through. it is selfish to not at least try options for your relationship.
I live with this situation as my spouse has suffered and he refused for a long time to fess up and it does make a person feel less than or unattractive etc....
my spouse refusal to deal with his issues has destroyed our marriage as he got to a point to not even hug me in case i wanted more.... lol i finally told him that if he had only been honest and sought treatment / counseling etc this did not need to be our breaking point.
I found not even attempting only to end in disappointment was better then being frustrated....
It's great that your partner took the step to see a doctor. Speaking from personal experience, eroxon gel has been helpful for me in addressing similar concerns. It might be worth discussing with his healthcare provider as it can improve blood flow and intimacy. Additionally, open communication about your feelings and concerns is vital. Seek support from a therapist or counselor together to navigate these emotions and strengthen your relationship.
@sunnyShip6354
My partner also has ED and has asked his doctor about it. He hates that he now takes "*** pills" but they do help. We've talked about it openly and I've tried to be as supportive as I know how to be. I think he appreciates the conversations and my willingness to just play with sexuality, regardless of the outcome, you can still have a lot of fun being intimate.
But yes, it does put a strain on the relationship because he often feels very frustrated and I feel helpless. But it's no one's fault and something to really share and talk about as openly and honestly and compassionately as one can.
Good luck, I hope you can both navigate this challenge in a loving way, together. :)