Love and letting go
I fell in love with someone I was never meant to have. She was older than me—married, with kids. We met by chance, talked for hours, and before I knew it, she became my world. She loved me too, or at least that’s what I believed. But deep down, I always knew our story wasn’t built to last.
For two years, we shared our dreams, our pain, and moments that felt like forever. Then one day, she decided to walk away. Not because she stopped loving me, but because she thought it was the right thing to do—for her family, for her kids, and even for me. She went silent, shut me out, and left me to deal with the weight of everything we had been.
At first, I couldn’t accept it. I asked myself a thousand questions—Why did she love me if she was going to leave? Was I just a temporary escape for her? How can I move on when everything in my life reminds me of her? The answers never came, just the pain of waking up every day knowing she was gone.
I tried everything to escape the feeling. I distracted myself with work, kept a smile on my face for my family, and acted like I was fine. But the truth is, I was breaking inside. She told me she wanted me to be happy, to find love, to have a family of my own. But how do I do that when every bit of happiness feels incomplete without her?
I’m still fighting this battle. Some days, I convince myself that I’m healing. Other days, I feel like I’m drowning in memories.
@frankGrapefruit7312
I can relate. I think we meet others they fill us with excitement and feelings but you knew from the beginning she was only sharing part of herself with you...many people who feel lonely or bored in a marriage like the fantasy of a new love and the long talks and private jokes etc.
what was her attitude from the start that she was keeping her family marriage intact? Was your vision for future realistic.... her divorced and you being a step parent or such? ....
she may have stepped back as she felt you were expecting more then she planned on giving. It does not mean she did not or does not love you.... it hurts for awhile.. but you take what you learned about yourself ( every relationship helps you grow) and what you want in a person moving forward.
I appreciate your perspective, and you’re right—sometimes people are drawn to the excitement of something new when they feel trapped in an unhappy situation. But in my case, she was honest from the start. She told me she was married and living with her husband, but she was also looking for a way out. When I confessed my love to her, she hesitated because she knew it was wrong, yet she couldn’t stop loving me either.
At first, she struggled with her feelings, but later, instead of ending things with clarity, she chose to shut me out completely. She changed overnight—became cold, rude, and tried to make me hate her. I know she did it on purpose, maybe to make it easier for both of us. But the truth is, it’s been 1.5 years now, and I still carry her memories with me. No matter how much time passes, it feels like a part of me is stuck in the past with her.
I don’t regret loving her, but I do struggle with moving on. Maybe love doesn’t disappear as easily as people think.
@frankGrapefruit7312
No it does not disappear ... i became friends with someone and spent 4 years when we planned on a meet up as it was long distance... they kind of froze and backed away afraid of losing his other life as i called it. i was risking my other life too
i was very hurt and felt like the feelings were not what i thought........ but they are still there and we found the disconnect was a issue with the way we were communicating but the two weeks plus i thought they had disappeared i found strength to know what we had changed me / helped me gave me confidence and i will smile about this person long after we are no longer talking and video meeting.
