Letting Ex Step All Over My Boundaries (long story, sorry)
My ex and I were together for 9 years then he broke up with me (2022) and went with someone else immediately. Then we started talking a couple months later (2023) and we got together again (lasted about a year) and about a month ago he breaks up with me (2024). Well when he recently broke up with me yes I cried but then I started to feel numb for everything. I didn't feel anything for him, I didn't feel anything for my family or anyone. I went to the hospital and was diagnosed with MDD. And a couple weeks ago he was looking for me at work (I had him blocked). My mistake was unblocking him...he would tell everything about his life, and how he wants to treat me and be with me eventually and then he says he wants nothing because our relationship is broken and that it doesn't matter if he messes around with 1000 girls that I'm never going to trust him. I was taken back when he said that because I struggled to trust again when we got back together (I communicated that to him) I was in a battle with my own mind everyday saying that "he's not lying and hes not cheating just ,trust him". My fault was taking him back with just words and no actions (now I know that). He also recently told me why am I setting up boundaries with him (instant click) that he sees them but he doesn't care and I had a hard time setting them up because I don't want to upset anyone. Furthermore, I know what I need to do such as blocking him for good and cut him off completely, I just know I can't continue this toxic cycle with him. I know this sounds silly but I still love and care for him but for my sake I don't want to continue the cycle and I don't want that for him either. All this to say I need encouragement, support, I need friends (online and in person), I'm currently taking therapy trying to get back into my art work and trying to build up my relationship with God.
I would like to mention there's alot more to this story. Also there's 2 sides to every story and I take full responsibility and accountability for my wrong doings.
@scarletCherry3980
Thank you for sharing your story with us. It takes a lot of courage to open up about such a difficult experience. I’m so sorry you’ve been through this, and I want you to know that your feelings are valid and important.
It’s clear that your relationship with your ex has been a significant part of your life, and it’s understandable that you still have feelings for him despite everything. However, it’s also evident that this relationship has caused you a lot of pain and confusion. Recognizing that the cycle is toxic and wanting to break free from it is a huge step towards healing and taking care of yourself.
It’s not silly to still love and care for him; those feelings are natural, especially given your long history together. But it’s crucial to prioritize your own well-being and mental health. Blocking him and cutting off contact might be difficult, but it’s a necessary step to protect yourself from further hurt. Setting boundaries is about self-respect and protecting your peace, and it’s something you deserve to uphold without guilt.
You are doing the right things by seeking therapy, getting back into your art, and building your relationship with God. These are positive steps towards healing and finding your own strength. Surrounding yourself with supportive people, both online and in person, can provide the encouragement and friendship you need during this time.
Remember, you are not alone in this. There are people who care about you and want to see you thrive. Continue to focus on your passions and the things that bring you joy. It’s okay to take things one day at a time and to be kind to yourself in the process.
You have the strength to move forward and create a happier, healthier future for yourself. Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, support groups, or even online communities where you can find understanding and encouragement. You are worthy of love and respect, and you deserve to be in a relationship that brings you happiness and peace.
Stay strong, and keep taking those positive steps towards healing. You’ve got this.
