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It's not going to work

blueOcean6753 February 23rd

It's time to leave this relationship with my boyfriend but I find it so hard to do. I can't afford anything and have no where to go. Is it possible to stay living together and stay separated until one if us can move out? I am very unhappy with him. I love him but I don't want to live like this. Mentally he is breaking me down and I have allowed it far to long. I'm miserable.

3
toughTiger6481 February 24th

@blueOcean6753

While it might be possible to live together as roommates ...... until someone is in financial shape etc to move out .... the reality is that it will be awkward and not a clean break.  It will have moments when he may be better for short term to suck you back into a relationship. especially if you still have feelings for him ..... easy to use that to say it will be different and 6 months down the road you are in exact same place. 

 IMO some people just cannot be adult about a simple arrangement for rent etc..... make a list of what you would need .....are you both on a lease etc... are you just wanting to get together a deposit for a new place etc....

i would work hard to try to find anywhere you can go...... even if it is renting a room from a friend etc.... put out the message and perhaps someone you know .....knows someone looking for roommate etc. 

Not sure of your situation but some people who are in situation like this find a second gig to be away from living place except to sleep shower etc limiting interaction and earning more to move quicker. 

Best of luck but miserable is no way to live.

1 reply
blueOcean6753 OP February 24th

Thank you I totally agree with you and your input has helped tremendously. I am going to start looking for a part time job when I'm not working at my full time one and go from there. My son and daughter lives with us right now and they are going to be moving next month so that will free up 2 rooms that I can move into until I can find a place to live. But it's going to be very hard because you are so right when you said he is going to try to make things right while I'm still here. I am going to search for a roommate to move with once I can afford th4 extra payment. I would love to be able to live alone but I know that's not possible with my income. I want to be happy again and I remember how happy I was when I was alone. We were happy once but we are past that now. Thank you again 💓

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inquisitivecloud February 24th

Are we the same person? I’m literally going through the cycle that is being in a toxic relationship. I am trying to stay strong so that I can give myself a chance to be my best self, or, just.. BE.


Please stay strong, for yourself above all.

here for you.