I'm living life like a desperate old man
Hi. I am a about to be 18 boy. I'm preparing for State Engineering exam. But I am feeling empty for quite some time. I do not have any good friends nor do I have good grades. Staying alone isn't new for me. Having no friends also means that I live in a delusion. This delusion is formed because of lack of social norms inside me.
Well, since last month I feel extremely attracted to any girl that I see. I do not want that to happen. I am already in water, burden to my parents and a stupid guy overall. Why do I get these feelings away...
Laws in my country hasn't been changed since 1980s so, even if I try to approach girls and they report me as a stalker to police, I'll be locked up for 2 years minimum. Now that I am going to be 18, things will get more hard for me.
Today, in evening school bus, I had to sit with a girl due to all seats being already been taken. First I hesitated a lot but then that feelings rushed inside me. After I came home, I felt more miserable than before.
This happens in class too. My other classmates who are biology students were taking a class on fertility. Although I have nothing to do with biology because I am a Physics-Chem-Math student, I started thinking about a girlfriend unconsciously, this making me feel even more desperate.
I have female classmates, but because of this, I usually sit multiple feets away.
To be honest, Neither my relatives nor my parents really like me. They're just pushing me around until I get into Uni. I don't think that girls will like me in any way.
How do I stop these feelings by myself.
I already journal daily yet, I feel more and more desperate each day. What should I do?
Hey there, it sounds like you're going through a tough patch. Feeling lonely and dealing with pressure from studies and family can be a lot to handle. First off, know that it's okay to feel the way you do, and you're not alone in this. If you can, try talking to someone you trust—a teacher, counselor, or even a friend. Sharing how you feel can take some weight off your shoulders. In the meantime, find things that make you happy outside of studying. Whether it's a hobby or hanging out with people who share your interests, it can help lift your spirits. As for your feelings towards girls, it's important to respect their boundaries and take things slow. Genuine connections happen over time, so be patient with yourself. Remember, it's okay to ask for help when you need it. You're not alone, and things will get better with time. Hang in there!
