How to move forward
Hello,
My wife and I have been together 6 years. We see eye to eye on all the big major stressors in relationships except intimacy. The first year was great, she even initiated most of it. Now we’re married and each year we have sex 0-4 times a year. We’ve both voice our points of view but so far she hasn’t said 100% what she’s comfortable with. I see sex as an emotional connection and she couldn’t care less about sex and said even with exes she did out of obligation. She’s in therapy and feels guilty about not wanting it but over the years goes between telling me she’ll try harder to telling me in a perfect world we’d just cuddle and hold hands and never have sex again. I’m unsure what to do, the rest of our relationship and points of view are spot on. I’m thankful she’s still cuddly but whenever I kiss her too much, too long or too often she stops me and 90% of the time when I try to initiate sex I get rejected too.
Advice??
@emotionalBranch5559
This is a big issue and it is not a one size fits all answer.... some try to live with the cuddles and such but some find they want and NEED more..... I honestly wonder why some women especially do not share upfront this is how they feel .... instead they date/ build a relationship with sex included and then pull the i never liked/ wanted or interested in sex trigger.
Even if she participated you may now feel it was obligation not connection and feelings.....
Many many try to stay the course and say the rest of marriage is good but at what point is it NOT enough? many in couples therapy for this but it will come down to you.... and if you stay and feel you are missing out on a normal sex life how long until that drive is too much and you seek it elsewhere.