First normal relationship after many toxic ones ..
I finally have entered a normal healthy relationship where I feel at peace and not always on flight or fight mode … I have been in 3 not so good relationships on my Past.. my most recent lasted a year and a half ago and after it ended I started therapy for the first time in my life . It helped .. but being in a normal relationship after such a bad toxic abusive one is more difficult than I thought . I get triggered easily , my overthinking thoughts take over and I just spiral into thinking negative like I just try to self sabotage. It’s a daily struggle but sometimes I think maybe this new person isn’t meant for me .. I wish I could just relax and enjoy the relationship for what it is instead of always watching my back as if something bad will happen . He’s not perfect as no one is or any relationship but we communicate so well and this is the first time I can truly express how I feel and I feel safe around him and comfortable opening up which is rare . Idk what could ease my anxiety over this new relationship.? Has anyone else been thru this ?
@Allyibanez
Is it possible that you can not relax and not overthink because a small part of you misses the drama?
I sometimes think people become accustomed to the debate and friction and when you longer facing that the calm seems somewhat boring. Maybe then we see small flaws in the other person and tell ourselves it might not work........ it can be the opposite when we see only the good points of a toxic person to justify staying or beginning a relationship.
changing our minds about how we respond is work sometimes.
Yes I definitely agree .. I think I’m so used to the drama and the fights and always being in a state of anxiousness . Being calm and having no problems at all really with this new relationship is new to me .. I’m not used to it. And yeah it can seem boring . I think I just need to switch the way I think ..it’ll take time but I think with time it’ll get better .