Dumped after 6 years because it was too easy

@turquoiseOwl7978

I’m so sorry. This kind of heartbreak the kind where you don’t even get a say, where it feels like life is being ripped out from under you is one of the hardest things to go through. You’ve invested years of love, care, and energy into this relationship, and now, without warning, you’re left trying to make sense of something that feels senseless. It’s brutal.  

I hear you when you say you feel like you have no agency, like this is just happening to you. And honestly, in a way, it is. He made a decision that affects your entire life, without truly giving you a say in it. That is a lot to process, and it makes complete sense that you’re in shock, that you’re struggling to eat, that you don’t even know how to begin telling people. Please, please be gentle with yourself right now.  

It sounds like he is going through his own internal struggles, and while that’s not an excuse, it does mean that this breakup isn’t a reflection of you. It’s not because you weren’t enough, or because you did something wrong, or because you “failed.” You didn’t fail. You showed up. You loved. You built something real. And now, through no fault of your own, you’re being forced to let it go. That’s not failure that’s just heartbreak, and it’s unfair, and I wish you didn’t have to go through it.  

I know the idea of starting over is terrifying, especially in your 30s. It’s okay to be scared. But you are not behind. You are not broken. You are not unlovable. Right now, you don’t need to have a plan or an answer or even the strength to face it all at once. Just take it one breath at a time. One meal at a time. One conversation at a time. And please, don’t carry this alone reach out to the people who love you. You don’t have to explain everything, just let them be there for you.  

You will get through this, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. And when you do, you won’t just be surviving you’ll be living. And you’ll look back and realize that you were never the one who was lost. You were always whole, always enough. And you still are.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Your story hit me deeply because I’m also trying to process the loss of someone who meant everything to me. In my case, I loved someone who was never truly mine to keep—she was older and had kids. Even though we both knew our love had no future, we still held on for as long as we could. Then, one day, she decided to walk away, saying she needed to do the right thing for her family and for me.

Like you, I didn’t get a choice in the breakup. She went silent, cut me off, and left me to deal with the emptiness alone. I still wonder why she came into my life if she was going to leave. I still feel like everything I achieve now is incomplete without her. She once told me she wanted to see me happy with a wife and kids, but how do I explain to her that she was my happiness? That success, dreams, and achievements feel hollow without her?

I don’t have the answers yet. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that love doesn’t just disappear. We carry it, even when the person is gone. And maybe one day, we learn to carry it without pain. Until then, I guess we just take it one day at a time.

I hope you find peace, even if it takes time. You’re not alone in this.

Hello dear. I know the pain you are going through, rough times where you lose appetite and are unable to eat. First of all, I am so sorry that this happened to you, you don’t deserve to be disregarded like that and mislead.

I know how hard it is to disconnect yourself from him and your relationship to him but you just try your best. He is so familiar to you and you will crave his familiarity and the love he once showed you. But you must take a step back and not blame yourself. You weren’t the problem. He will regret his actions but you must let him regret them on his own; don’t reach out and don’t try to prove your worth to him after the breakup. He knows your worth he just doesn’t appreciate it.

I completely understand your devastation and feeling like your life is over. Unfortunately 6 months ago my (now ex) bf of 3 years cheated on me and left me for someone else. Obviously this was a very different situation than yours but the pain I felt of losing my best friend, I thought I’d never heal. I’d cry every night, not be able to eat, I lost so much weight, and more. My best advice for your understandable pain is time dear.

You must not feel ashamed, embarrassed, or unworthy of love; your love is greater than whatever he had to offer. You, as a whole, are greater than whatever he had to offer. He will realize this when it is too late. Stay strong and don’t let your craving for his familiarity and love make you reach out to him in desperation like I did. You will only look back and wish you hadn’t reached out to someone who made their disinterest clear.

He does not appreciate you. He doesn’t deserve you or your genuine nature. I know this is an extremely hard time. Take the time to rest, disassociate, heal, and most importantly find your old self. The person you were before him. This is something that has helped me tremendously. Do activities and hobbies you used to do before you dated him. Things he wasn’t interested in- do them to help find yourself again.

I also dated someone with depression, and while that is extremely challenging and I tried to help him, and basically be his therapist, it is not your job to “fix” someone. It is hard to be in a relationship with someone who cannot take care of themselves; they put the burden on you. You don’t deserve this burden. You are free from it now.

Yes, I’m sure he still loves you, but he doesn’t appreciate or deserve you is all his actions have proven. I know it’s hard to walk away from someone you love and have been through so much with but everything truly happens for a reason (as hard as it is to hear right now). You should not stay with someone just for the sake of time. It’s better things ended now rather than 5 more years down the line or even 3 more months.

Hang in there beautiful. You’re so strong. You’ve got this. Please eat, you need that energy to think clearly and to heal. Force yourself to eat if you must. I guarantee that the first 6 months are the most painful. After you are able to get through just this beginning (in no contact) you will feel like the person you were again before them. You will be stronger, wiser, and ready for what was meant for you. He wasn’t meant for you, but this breakup will lead you to the path that is meant for you as long as you learn and heal from the experience.

Take care of yourself please! (Sorry for the long message). Feel free to text me anytime if you’d like to talk more about this or just need a friend to fill that void. Think of this as a step in the right direction (even though it may not feel like it rn). You’re healing and becoming a better person while he is stuck on his old ways. Stay strong, you’ve got this 🤍