Driving me crazy

This is kinda just a rant but I'd like some support, I'm kinda really sad. really long tho, shortened version will be made later with a link to this one

There is this guy. I've liked him for over a year. He is a caring, beautiful, protective guy. He makes me so happy. In November of 2022, I made a post asking if I was crazy because there was this guy who I liked that always seemed to flirt with me, but he had a gf. He ended up breaking up with her and in march of the following year, we danced together at a dance and he made me feel like I was everything. But he hurt my friend so I stopped trying to be with him. I still really liked him tho. We slowly became friends again as I saw how caring he could be. But over the summer he started dating this other girl. He would still kinda flirt with me, but he really liked this chick. In October, I went to this dance on my birthday, he and his gf were there because I invited that group of friends. He said he wanted a birthday dance with me and for some reason, his gf was totally fine with that. I wasn't because I really freaking liked him and I knew it would mean more to me than it would to him and this girl was my friend. I danced with him for like 30 seconds tho because I really liked him and didn't know how to say no. Fast forward a bit, my other friend told me she liked him, and I was honest with her and said that I like him too but I wanted to stay friends regardless. She did to, and neither of us had a chance cause he had a gf. But in November, I went to this swim meet my friend was competing in with the girl who liked him, and him. He kept asking me who I like, and since I'm openly bi, I just lied to them and said this random girl. He didn't believe me but I wasn't going to tell him it was him. He had a girlfriend. Then he whispered to me that he loved me and has loved me since 8th grade. I just said I needed to step out and so I just took a minute when the other girl who liked him came to talk to me. I told her that I was sorry. I told her I was freaking out. Love??? That made no sense. I eventually went back in and told him that today was my swim friend's day. I eventually told him that I like him too but he had a gf and I wasn't going to act on anything until he didn't. I'm not really sure when they broke up but we started cuddling and he would call me beautiful and all these things that made me really happy. On December 31, my friends and I had a new years eve party. At about 11:30 we went to watch fireworks. he said he wanted to kiss me at midnight. I told him that I wanted that too but I've never kissed before and I was kinda scared. He said that it would be fine. Then I asked him, if the other girl who liked him was here, would he kiss her instead. He waited a moment and then said he wasn't sure. That he really likes both of us and he doesn't know what to do because he doesn't want to hurt us but he could see a future with both of us so he doesn't think he's going to date either of us so he could figure it out. I didn't really know what to say so I just said ok. We kissed and then again, and then like half hour later. Tbh, kissing is weird. not bad but really weird. some time in january he said he had to stop flirting with both me and the other girl because he wanted to "fly solo". That crushed me but I accepted it, thinking I'd be fine (I wasn't). In February, I asked him to be my valentine, he said yes. On the 8th of February, there was this chinese new years thing at the highschool. I went but got anxious and stepped outside. He came to comfort me and we walked around the building. we ended up playing at a playground when he hugged me and said he loved me. He had said it before but I didn't believe him, this time, I believed him. I told him I loved him too but what happened to the whole "flying solo" thing? he said that he was stupid and didn't realize what he had been loosing or whatnot. We kissed, a lot, and he said other things that made me happy. He said that he wanted to make out with me but I said that I didn't want to make out with someone for the first time in the playground for kids who were born of teen pregnancy. we went back inside and he held my hand the whole time. but later in february, he told me that to "protect me" he had to stop being with me. That made me really sad and upset but he told me he loved me and when he could, he would date me. then in march, we were hanging out at a friends house when he said he wanted to sit by me. I went over to sit by him and we cuddled. he took he home and outside the door, he kissed me. we went on with this flirty thing for a bit, when he again told me that to protect me, he needed to leave me, but he would date me when he could. I got upset and went for a walk. I wrote out a message on my phone saying pretty much that he wasn't protecting me, that he was just hurting me and stringing me along. That if he would just talk to me about whats going on, I could be there for him, instead of him leaving me and having absolutely no faith in him, even though I've proved that I would stay there for him. He didn't respond and when I asked him if he was going to he pretty much just said no. Then in april, I was at the same friends house and he was there. the other two people were talking with themselves so I asked to talk to him. He said ok and we talked. I asked him why he kept leaving and why couldn't he just trust me enough to stay with me and some other things. he answered and I asked more questions. I asked if there was anything I could to to help him with what he was going through and he said not that I'd want to hear. I asked him to tell me anyway. he wrote it out on my phone. he pretty much just said, I know you're ace but you turn me on and I don't want to push you into anything but it how I feel. I said, yeah, I'm ace but its a spectrum, yada yada, he said I don't want you to think I only want you because you turn me on. I said I don't and then he asked if I'd be ok with some things. nothing sexual (even if ace is a spectrum, I don't want to beee with anyone like that at 15). I said yes to all of them. then we kissed. he touched my butt. not the first time he had tho. then a week later I walk in on him and the other girl that liked him kissing. I ran to the bus and just cried. He said that he wanted me. He lied. Now I'm broken. I'm waiting for something that probably wont happen. I was taken advantage of. I still love him, and every now and then, he does something, and I'm so sure he loves me too. and then I see him with her, and I want to cry. 

Thing relevant but I forgot to add them:

he had kissed the other girl who liked him before he had kissed me, I didn't know that at the time

he was pretty much dating that girl in february when he said he loved me, I also didn't know that

I'll make a shortened version of this later, I just needed to rant for a bit, but its very long

the 2 other threads I made about this guy:

https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/DatingIssuesTips_2167/AmIcrazy_290736/ 

https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/General_2449/WellIwasntcrazy_308401/