Defending or Argument?
My bf (of 4 years) made some comments regarding my current job that have really upset me. I work as scheduler (filling shifts, dealing with call ins, etc.) for a program that supports people with disabilities. I have worked there for almost a year. I never complain that my job is hard (I have previous factory work experience so understand hard work) but my job can be challenging and stressful at times. I am allowed to work from home 1 day a week and usually I can manage to work and get some household chores done at the same time. I usually tell my bf about my days at work and share good & bad things that happen.
Today was an easy day where my phone didn’t ring so I managed to get a lot done around the house, my bf came home and I shared this with him. His response was: “I never want to hear you complain again about how hard your job is” I responded that I never complain its hard but that it can be stressful at times if you are dealing with multiple people calling in a short amount of time (which has happened many times) he starts going on and on about how doctors, nurses have it hard and that I have it easy considering what I managed to get done in a day. I told him that I never compare my job to doctors, teachers, etc. cause it’s not possible to compare. Out of the people who work in my office I would say my job is more challenging then there’s but again I don’t compare my job to others. I felt I had to defend myself and my job sharing how there are times it can be challenging but it is not all the time. He could not comprehend this and told me I was being argumentative because I was disagreeing with his initial statement.
I feel from this point on I will never speak about my job ever again to him.
Logically his response does not make sense, there may be an emotional underlayer that needs to be addressed. It's hard seeing it especially when they say something hurtful.
Is this out of his typical behavior?
@forcefulSea7026
I can relate and I too have come into mind that it is not worth talking to my partner about it as my job one day is boring with slow day and next day can be slammed with calls and emails etc to get to.
it is funny how some can think after a slow day they assume everyday is like that. I refuse to defend it to him and the comparison to other jobs seems silly. but i get that too.
@forcefulSea7026 People don’t understand the difficulties of a job they have never done. There are a lot of people who treat the concept of “hard work” as if it’s some magical badge of honor. It sounds like maybe he is jealous that you had a day with a lull. But the job you do is just a detail. You’re allowed to feel how you feel about the details in your life. A good partner will focus on you, not the details. A good partner doesn’t need to be envious or in competition for some arbitrary badge of honor, or badge of suffering. And yet people can easily get caught up in this nonsense. The people who can see that their relationships are more important than their own pettiness can outgrow their pettiness for the most part. Sometimes they slip back into it without realizing it. And then there are those who build their entire lives on pettiness and refuse to see anything but their own narrow view of things.
