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forcefulSea7026
1 5,377 M Moving Along
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts105 Forum posts27 Forum upvotes20 Current upvotes20 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceNovember 10, 2019
Recent forum posts
Birthday
Relationship Stress / by forcefulSea7026
Last post
5 hours ago
...See more My boyfriend and I decided to go out for my bday dinner and he told me to pick wherever I wanted to go. Everything was going well until we got our dinner, it was not what we expected and not very good. We are both the same that we do not like to complain or send something back unless necessary so we agreed we were not going to do that. Where we differ is that I let things go, I can’t control how the meal was going to taste so it just is what it is. My boyfriend on the other end continued to go on and on about how bad it was and how disappointed he was and how it wasn’t worth the money (he still had no interest to complain about it) the longer he went on the more I felt bad and got upset because I had picked it. 30 minutes later he was still going on about it and I am in near tears because I feel like it is my fault. He turns it around on me saying that if I had gone on with him about how bad it was then he would have been less mad but because I was letting it go I wasn’t on his side so now his anger is turned onto me. And now it’s all my fault, he said he should have never let me talk him into going out for dinner we should have just stayed home. But if we had a good meal none of this would have happened I am so upset, it’s my birthday and now we aren’t even speaking because according to him it is all my fault
Miserable on Vacation
Relationship Stress / by forcefulSea7026
Last post
October 9th
...See more My bf and I have been together about 4 years. We are currently on vacation together but it has really taken a turn. Since the beginning of the trip things have just been terrible. He was mad at me before we left because I was wearing a ring. Not an expensive one just cheap one because I enjoy wearing jewelry. He was mad because he believed I shouldn’t wear anything as it draws attention (that one I apologized for because I saw his side) But our biggest fight to date was today. I suffer from health anxiety and whenever i am out of country it gets worse. I was out too much in the heat and started to not feel well. I am a rational person and know that was causing me to feel unwell but the anxiety was putting me into overdrive of worry. Throughout our relationship I have managed to keep that side of my anxiety away from him but on vacation it is hard to hide. He started calling me mental and saying that 12 years have that mentality. I tried to explain to him that once I start spiraling it takes me some time to relax and be able to be rational but he wanted no part of it. He didn’t speak to me for the rest of the day and then proceeded to tell me to leave him alone for the rest of the trip as he wants nothing to do with me anymore. I am heartbroken and want nothing more than to go home but I can’t. Im forced to stick it out.
Defending or Argument?
Relationship Stress / by forcefulSea7026
Last post
September 25th
...See more My bf (of 4 years) made some comments regarding my current job that have really upset me. I work as scheduler (filling shifts, dealing with call ins, etc.) for a program that supports people with disabilities. I have worked there for almost a year. I never complain that my job is hard (I have previous factory work experience so understand hard work) but my job can be challenging and stressful at times. I am allowed to work from home 1 day a week and usually I can manage to work and get some household chores done at the same time. I usually tell my bf about my days at work and share good & bad things that happen. Today was an easy day where my phone didn’t ring so I managed to get a lot done around the house, my bf came home and I shared this with him. His response was: “I never want to hear you complain again about how hard your job is” I responded that I never complain its hard but that it can be stressful at times if you are dealing with multiple people calling in a short amount of time (which has happened many times) he starts going on and on about how doctors, nurses have it hard and that I have it easy considering what I managed to get done in a day. I told him that I never compare my job to doctors, teachers, etc. cause it’s not possible to compare. Out of the people who work in my office I would say my job is more challenging then there’s but again I don’t compare my job to others. I felt I had to defend myself and my job sharing how there are times it can be challenging but it is not all the time. He could not comprehend this and told me I was being argumentative because I was disagreeing with his initial statement. I feel from this point on I will never speak about my job ever again to him.
Sick and Tired
Relationship Stress / by forcefulSea7026
Last post
August 13th
...See more Are all men ridiculous when their spouse gets sick. Mine was home all day watching tv while I went to work sick as anything (no sick days at work) and I came home to a sink full of his dishes, and a full dishwasher that needed to be unloaded. I asked how he was and he said “I am borderline sick” I said oh what symptoms do you have, as I stated my cold with a really bad sore throat. He responded “well nothing yet but I am on the edge of being sick” I felt that was dramatic. I am not someone who whines or complains, I don’t ask anyone to do anything or make me anything. If I want soup for example I will go and do it myself. My boyfriend never asks if I want or need anything. At the end of the day I was heading to bed and was saying goodnight and I said how much I wanted to give him a kiss (trying to keep distance so he doesn’t get it) he goes your so annoying. I was confused at how I was being annoying. He told me I am such a *** when I am sick and it’s annoying, that if I am going to be sick then to do it away from him. I am hurt by his words. I do everything around the house , in sickness or health I don’t complain. I didn’t even know how to respond I just walked away.
Overreaction?
Relationship Stress / by forcefulSea7026
Last post
June 23rd
...See more My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and I have been on birth control for 5 years. Never have I ever missed a dose, I am always on top of. This past week I have been preoccupied with work and I missed a dose. I didn’t realize it until the following day when I saw the pill from the previous day still in the pack. Realizing the mistake I started to freak out, I told my boyfriend and got a reaction that was not helpful. He started yelling at me saying how could you forget, it’s not like you have anything else more important than this. He told me I cannot be trusted. I was already upset at myself from forgetting he wasn’t helping at all. He just continued telling me how ridiculous I am for forgetting (keep in mind he forgets to take his pills all the time). I completely understand the severity of this situation and how it could lead to an unplanned pregnancy, but him yelling at me calling me names, and that I am stupid does not help. Afterwards he started stonewalling me, ignoring me not even looking at me. I have apologized, but he won’t hear of it. We are supposed to be a team, I wanted him to say we can sort it out together and understand that I would never intentional forget one as I take it very seriously but as we all know life happens. Him ignoring me makes me feel hurt. I know and understand the consequences of it but it was an honest mistake, I have never ever missed a pill or even been late in taking one in all my years of taking it.
Am I wrong?
Relationship Stress / by forcefulSea7026
Last post
June 10th
...See more I am just looking for some advice on whether my feelings are validated or not. My bf (been together 4 years) and I live together and we are firm believers in splitting things 50/50. This past year he was laid off from work. He will be returning next year, the place he works is doing renovations so he is guaranteed to return by 2025. Previous to this he worked long days and a long commute usually 6 days a week. I work a Monday-Friday, 9-5 close to home. I was doing all the grocery shopping and household chores since I had more time to do them. I felt that it was fair since he was working more than me. Now that he is off I feel differently. I expect him to do more work around the house because he is home. Don’t get me wrong he does do all the outdoor chores, and cooks dinner most nights. But I am still expected to do all the inside chores (vacuuming, dusting, laundry, bathrooms, etc.) When I come home from work the last thing I want to do is clean and I’ll admit some things haven’t been done in awhile. We got into a huge fight because he believes I should be doing everything inside if not more because there are lots of outdoor chores I cannot do (ex cutting grass) or home renovation stuff (painting walls). I just don’t feel that this is fair. He goes to bed when he wants, gets up when he wants. He has a whole 8 hours without me to do what he wants and sometimes I come home and all he has done is watch tv. When I try and bring it up he says he has done plenty over the years and it’s my turn to pick up the slack.
Am I Wrong?
Relationship Stress / by forcefulSea7026
Last post
May 27th
...See more Every year my bf and I buy flowers for our backyard. When I say “we” I mean me. I always go out, buy them and plant them, and every year my bf says, “buy whatever you want. Decorate it however you want.” Every year I always buy the same red, pink and white flowers and every year it looks the same but this year I went to a new garden centre and they had different stuff. I ended up with similar looking flowers but instead I got red, purple and black (not normally something I would buy but I really wanted different this year and they looked fun mixed with other colours) I came home, planted them all myself and then my bf takes a look at them and got so mad at me for buying black. I tried to explain that I was different and would look fun but he was not having it. I reminded him that he told me I could get what I wanted and especially when I was doing all the work myself that I was going to get something that I wanted. He told me he only says that but doesn’t actually mean I should get what I want. I should be thinking what would he want. Every year I ask if he wants to come and help pick them out and plant them and every year he says no. I think he is being ridiculous for getting so mad at me over this. I bought what I wanted, I was the one doing all the work, if the role was reversed I wouldn’t be mad at him buying what he wanted especially if I was refusing to participate. Now he is beyond mad at me, saying next year he will take care of it because he can’t trust me with buying flowers. Is he right? Should I have bought what he wanted? Ignoring what I thought would look cool?
Heartbroken
Relationship Stress / by forcefulSea7026
Last post
May 11th
...See more Two days I had dental surgery, nothing extremely major but enough where I had pain meds and can only eat liquid / soft foods for about a week. This is the first time in the 4 years my boyfriend and I have been together where I have needed someone to take care of me. Immediately after the surgery he was so loving and attentive offering to get me whatever I need and buying me flowers and just holding my hand and I felt so happy knowing I had someone to count on while I was not feeling 100%. Within a day he had completely changed. He was going out with friends to play golf. I did not mind at all. As he was leaving I said, “I’ll call you if I need you” he got so mad at me, saying “why would you call me. I’m out. I can’t help you” and just left. Then he is oblivious and is eating his McDonalds infront of me. Even though I cannot eat and I am starving. Later he offered to get me a new ice pack and when he picked up the older one he said “it’s still cool” I told him I knew but I wanted a colder one. He threw it at me and said “you get up yourself and get it then.” This morning I couldn’t make up my mind about something and he lost it on me. Yelling at me, saying I was annoying and a b*tch. Accusing me of wanting to start a fight, I answered with why would I want to start a fight I’m in a lot of pain. He has just become a complete 180 of who he was just a day ago. I am not someone who has been whining and complaining I am *** up the pain and just getting on with it. I am really unsure of our relationship now. If I can’t rely on him for this what can I rely on him for.
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