Dating someone who is going through divorce

@selfdisciplinedApple6511 Hi there. I hope you don't take any offense here with what I am about to say, but I just want to be honest and straightforward here. I don't believe you and him can fully be on the same page, because this is a married man we are talking about here. He's still legally married, but going through a divorce, him and his wife still live together for convenience, and dating you on the side? 

It's great that you have found someone you really like. But until his divorce goes through, he's still married. And even if his divorce goes through while you two are still dating, what is supposed to happen then? Your intentions are to date for marriage in the future for you. What if remarrying is not what he wants? It's wonderful he was so honest with you about his situation. I just really want you to be wise when it comes to this. Your heart is on the line and you shouldn't be caught in the middle, in limbo waiting. 

You truly deserve someone who can be dedicated to you. I know we can't help when we meet people in life, but the marriage chapter in his life has to fully close before he can truly begin a new one with you or anyone else. I hope you get where I am coming from. Finding someone that is on the same page as us is important and clear communication should always be there. Sometimes if two people are not on the same page or want different things out of life then problems can take place. 

At the end of the day, I really want to see you happy and I hope you get out of life want you seek and desire. ♡ I wish you the best of luck with everything and all the happiness and joy. Take care. 

@selfdisciplinedApple6511

Hello. I guess I can feel how much you may be torn between starting to like this man, but at the same time being concerned about your future and safety.

From my experience, while some people after the divorce may prefer to stay alone for years, some are ready to "switch" to another relationship almost instantly.

However, when my first serious relationship was ended I think I was suffering for months from T3S, as I called it: "Titanic's Sinking Survivor's Syndrome". It was a great loss in self-trust and self-confidence. Thinking in a way: "If the biggest ship in the world, the love I cherished and nurtured, was sunk, with me incapable of taking the proper actions to save it, no ship in the world may be regarded unsinkable now".

I believe everybody deserves a second chance. But the fact that your date is still living under one roof with his ex might be a big test and challenging (both in a negative and in a positive way) for your mutual trust. Normally, for most people, it could be a red flag, if anything was not transparent enough. While they would be sharing not only a roof, but also a room, or worse, for me that would be a definite "NO".

On your side of the story, what caught my attention is the fact you are "dating to marry". For me that would be all right, if that is just some strategic thinking (in terms of "where I would like to be in a year or two"). But if you would feel the urge to get married, that would mean pressure, what could make your prone to making mistakes. And nowadays, when roughly every second marriage ends with a divorce, that could be dangerous.

I believe the man may really fall in love with you, but also you may easily get hurt.

I think it is all about the balance between your emotional safety (which I would treat as a top priority now), and doing no harm to the person you met. I would be curious to hear: what is your opinion about that?

I hope you are making good choices for your life and wish you a success in making your dreams come true 😊 👍 

@selfdisciplinedApple6511

Do NOT invest your emotions into this person. Too soon! Too many red Flags! Take a step back and take it SLOW!