Can it get better?
My boyfriend and I have been having the same issues for years. I have anxiety and am very hypersensitive. He thinks I’m overreacting and am being ridiculous all the time. I know I get upset too much, and by small things. I have been trying to get better and change but I just can’t seem to figure it out. He’s in his last straw with me.
Do you think it can get better with a few month break? I don’t even know what to do anymore but I really don’t want to lose him.
@idkineedtotalk
If you take a break you will perhaps both remember the good things and absence may make you want to be together again...
But when the issues are the small things and overthinking ...... when you get back from a break how long until the small things.... pop up. You may feel you have things under control when on a break... but when reunited the same irritants are there.
As a couple if you can talk about things and be very honest about it only then can you both find ways to work around the small things. sometimes if you can explain why you see things as you do and they can make effort to avoid the issues that pop up.
I know in my relationship i have had to have many of these talks ..........as some what seem to outside observers to be very minor.... but when dealing with everyday small things can really cause issues.
I asked partner NOT to do something anymore and about 95 % of time they make effort to not do it but the 5% left i just cringe and fume.... until I taught myself to see the victory and not be irritated by the small times it still occurs.
Do you think it’s possible to overcome being overly sensitive to small things? To overcome overthinking?
@idkineedtotalk
It depends on the irritant and IF they truly understand why it is a issue for you. what is a big deal for some may be no bog thing for others.... so they need to see why for you it is a no go thing.
Overthinking is something that takes time to overcome. I in my head replay what is the worst that can happen. In the bigger picture how does overthinking steal my time and joy.
Look at others you may know and ask yourself "why are they ok with things you cannot let go of... "
if you speak to them... at first you may want to insist the stress and worry of overthinking is justified ... but slowly you see that the stressing it only raises your blood pressure and makes you upset. takes lots of practice and you will fall back on it several times before it lessens enough that will no longer cause issues.
Thank you. I do tend to think my overthinking is justified and when my blood pressure rises and don’t know how to slow down and I spiral. It’s so hard for me to stop myself from spiraling. I’m hoping a break from dating will help me get my head straight. Idk. It’s so hard for some reason
@idkineedtotalk
as over thinkers we all think it is justified...
but in the end sometimes it really is not .... I start small with a little thing..... then i grow the frustration to angry........ and even a small thing will blow up. i realized i was doing it to myself over and over in the end is being "right" worth all the stress and anger.
@idkineedtotalk
There’s an old saying that says “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” so maybe some time away from each other is what both of you need to keep this relationship going.
However if I were you, I would not put a time on it. I would stay away till he contacts me and gives me a meaningful apology for the way he was with me and says that he understands and accepts that I’m hypersensitive and get upset even over small things. And when I believe he meant all of this and it came from his heart and soul, then and only then would I be open to returning to him to resume the relationship.
