Any help is much appreciated i feel like im going crazy sometimes
Im going through this “phaze” were im always thinking about my partners past and people who she has been with , im always worried that she is going to do something that will sabotage out relationship or has done in the past , im currently going to therapy for this and some days it helps and some days it dosnt , sometimes this just gets a bit to much and my anxiety will start playing out situations in my head and makes me believe i am always right , she has lied to me at the begining of our relationship which sort of broke the trust as i came from a relationship that i was cheated on , this makes it very hard to take her word for anything she is saying , could anyone share their thoughts on this on how i can be better for her she is such an amazing woman and i dont want to loose her because of my bad thoughts
@convivialSail864
For me it looks like no matter how amazing person your partner is, seemingly you've got a trust problem to solve between you and her.
As a rule I believe no one should be in double relationships, and a new one should start with a clean sheet of paper. But the point is who was the one initiating the contact: she or her ex?
Was it a kind of "I am not gonna be with you" talk on her side, or still looking for an opportunity to reunite?
Wasn't she telling it to you because she was afraid of losing you, or afraid you might have realised you were her backup option?
We could go into more details here, like if it was her decision to tell you about the situation she had (what is trust-building, I believe), or it was you who accidentally discovered the fact (not by checking her phone, I hope?) and then she came with an explanation?
But is getting deeper and deeper with analyzing really improving anything?
I think it is a big test for your relationship: When we have a problem, can we talk about it in an open way and solve it? Without either going back to it every time, or brooming the problem under the carpet and acting as if nothing happened? Am I able to believe this person?
I believe a lack of trust in a relationship is like a flat tyre: you can go with it, but not for very long, no matter how beautiful the car is.
