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Affection and marriage issues
compassionateFriend6011 August 12th, 2023
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My husband and I have had an argument 3 weeks ago that basically put my marriage on the line. A very thin line. After sleeping on the couch for 3 days after the fight happened, he invited me back to our room. Things were fine I guess. We talked a little. I went to the doctor and got on anxiety medicine. It’s a low dose to start off. Not very effective, obviously because I’m still a wreck. I started to show my husband affection and he has never said anything to me about it. I would give him kisses letting him know I love him. We have been intimate at times, but today he tells me he doesn’t want me kissing him in his neck etc., that he doesn’t like that. He has never had an issue with that before when we were in a good place before the argument we had. He tells me he still needs some space and I need to give it to him. I’m scared the more space I give him, he will decide to up and leave me. And I want to work on our marriage and I can’t do it alone. He doesn’t show that he loves me, he won’t tell me he loves me. Any time I’m on my phone he asks me who I’m texting. But I can’t ask him who he’s texting. I don’t know what to do. How do I get him to communicate with me? I want my husband back. I know it may never go back to what it was before, but I want us to be happy again.

5
lavenderAvocado2406 August 13th, 2023
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I feel for you. This must be very painful and dealing with uncertainty always brings anxiety.maybe look into learning about attachment styles might help

compassionateFriend6011 OP August 13th, 2023
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Thanks!

justjack2001 August 14th, 2023
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Hey there @compassionateFriend6011

It's clear that you're feeling worried and uncertain about the state of your marriage. It's understandable that after a significant argument, there might be changes in dynamics and communication between partners. It's positive that you're expressing your affection and trying to engage in open communication.


Given the complexity of the situation, here are a few steps you might consider:


1. **Give Space with Communication:** It's important to respect his request for space while also maintaining a line of communication. Let him know that you understand his need for space, but you're there to talk whenever he's ready.


2. **Initiate Honest Conversations:** When you both feel comfortable, initiate a calm and honest conversation about your concerns and feelings. Focus on using "I" statements to express how you feel and what you need from the relationship.


3. **Seek Professional Help:** Consider seeking professional guidance through couples therapy or counseling. A neutral third party can help facilitate healthy communication and provide tools for resolving conflicts.


4. **Build Trust:** Focus on building trust and fostering an atmosphere of mutual respect. Address any insecurities or issues openly and work together on finding solutions.


5. **Focus on Self-Care:** While working on your marriage, also prioritize your own well-being. Taking care of yourself can contribute positively to your relationship.


Remember, it takes effort from both sides to repair a relationship. Keep in mind that changes won't happen overnight, and patience is key. Stay committed to improving the relationship and supporting each other's growth.

MDF7 August 14th, 2023
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I’m in kind of a similar situation. My wife and I had a bad argument this weekend about something that we’ve argued about a lot of times throughout our relationship. She really isn’t interested in having a sexual relationship anymore (for reasons that are completely justified) and I just feel kind of lost. I’m here if you need to talk.

LostBoi1989 June 13th
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@compassionateFriend6011 hello I'm going through same of the same issues cause I don't know how to be affectionate to my wife 

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