A boyfriend that doesn't give reassurance
This is going to be long one so I apologise in advance
So I met this guy a year ago. He was really sweet to me, always looking out for me and very caring and I did the same for him. He always warned me that getting too close to him is going to hurt because he had trauma since his dad passed away 5 years ago when he was 13. I thought I could help him since I had some family trauma too and I should support him and I was also in love with him.
It turned out to be mutual and he said he would want to marry me when the time comes but the moment long distance came to be a possibility he started to back out. I tried to end things because it was giving me trust issues but he just wouldn't let me go and give no reassurance. Furthermore, whenever I used to bring an issue up he would get very defensive and blame the whole thing on me.
We had many issues going on, and I tried to hold on to him despite how sad he constantly kept me, he never got me flowers, showed frustration on the days to be celebrated and stopped loving me but always came back when I broke up which made me doubt his intentions.
Whenever I used to back out and try to leave him he would come back all miserable and the guilt made me let him come back but the last time I got a breakdown of all this he easily said he is fed up with me and just left
I feel so hurt, so guilty and hate myself even though I gave him my best, trying to make cupcakes to apologise which he just dropped and didn't even eat. I don't know how to proceed anymore, I have medical entrance exam in a few months with a competition of 24 lakhs and I have lost all motivation when I never dreamt of a career other than a doctor.
@Seraphina0795
I am sorry to hear that this has happened. It sounds like you put a lot of energy into the relationship, only to not have the same paid to you. It sounds very manipulative of him to not let you go when he was not doing anything to keep you around. I can understand how it would make you feel hurt and guilty as you were loyal to him. I think it is amazing that you are studying to be a doctor and hope you can find ways to rekindle the motivation you need to do well.
Yeah and the biggest problem was he wouldn't let me leave either. I tried to take his issues into consideration and accept his apologies, kept giving another chance but he consistently kept hurting me to the point I acted a little less compassionate on purpose so I could finally be left alone and allowed myself to move on. I still sometimes feel bad about the way I acted with him last time but he's finally gone and I just feel scared to approach him again
@Seraphina0795 not being allowed to leave sounds draining. I can understand how this experience would change you. It sounds like he didn’t want you but he also didn’t want to lose you as an option and that’s not fair to you. I hope you’re able to find a way to move past this. I know you don’t know me but I’m here for you if you ever want to chat.
Yeah like it only increased my mistakes for him. Like after a point he made me feel so inadequate but would always make me come back to him even if I tried to let go and mind my own business. He even once followed me in college the whole time to get the opportunity to find me alone, make me feel guilty and get me back, even complained to me for not trying the same. I would have wanted to but he just always talked about how distant he's got and how my complains only push him away further.
It was just so so painful and I really hate the way he treated me for I loved him so genuinely
