3 years aft breakup still yearning for him
Hi fellow 7 cups members,
I had a relationship of 5 month back in 2021 which I feel so strongly about back then and it still make me yearn for the exact same relationship. It was the first relationship I was able to say “I love you” and mean it. He was my second boyfriend and everything felt so “right”.
However, as we were closing in towards the end of the year, and the festivities period, he broke up with me out of the blue. I feel that there were not enough attempt that we made to actually know each other enough. Like we had some minor disagreements which we didn’t have time to resolve. And the break up come like a smack in my face.
I feel that we quit too soon. My therapist back then told me that sometimes the right person might not have come in at the right time.
Since the break-up, I am trying to focus on my self-growth and finding stability in my life. I am struggling with doing that as I feel that the rejection back then is still hurting me and make me feel inadequate.
Sometimes, it sounded like I am blaming everything else and not taking responsibility. But really.. when I am envisioning my future/ dream wedding. What we had back then just pop up and he is in my vision.
I know probably the solution is to move on and meet new people. But it’s still hard cos I often compare men with my ex and most of them don’t measure up.
I don’t want to contact my ex again because I fear that I still won’t be good enough. And that I will be rejected again.
If anyone has similar experiences or any advice or techniques that has been helpful please share. Or if you are stuck on the same boat as me, please comment so I know I am not alone. Thanks!
@determinedCoconut4836
What i feel is important in navigating or understanding end of relationships is we sometimes /can be often not know how the other person feels/ felt .... Sure they can say they feel a certain way but maybe actions and expressions tell a different story.... IT can be hard to face that there are signs we ignore or things we thought were minor but were more to them.
We may trust the person to tell us how they felt but they also may have not spoke up afraid of hurting us until one day it is just OVER.
I think of writing a story or pretend you are directing a film when you think of a wedding scenario.. Writers and directors when speaking about starting a project they may say they saw a certain actor they feel perfect for the role . You have inserted the "actor" you see in the role but they are in another project so you will need to audition new actors. I agree at this point contacting will not give you the closure you want....
Sometimes in films , directors or screen writers cannot get the person they saw in role but when another person is cast .......it turned out different then pictured...... but often so much better.
