25, never had a relationship
I don’t even know if this is the right place to put this, so sorry in advance if it’s not.
i don’t even know what I’m posting I just don’t understand what wrong with me. So I’ve never been in a relationship before. I’ve been on a few dates but never gotten further. The idea of being close to someone genuinely freaks me out.
Ive been chatting with this guy recently, who is lovely. He is such a gentleman and kind and caring. I went on my first date with him on Sunday just gone and had a lovely time. But every time he suggests meeting up again in filled with this feeling on dread in my stomach. I’ve not slept since meeting him because this feeling won’t go away.
On one hand I try to look at it logically. I’m 25, I want to move forward in my life and it’s weird to not have a partner. Everyone I speak to tell me I should have a partner. But on the other hand all I can think about are the negatives. I enjoy my alone time, that’ll be gone. I love my own space and hobbies. I’ve seen how my brother and moms relationships are and whilst they have great, wonderful times it’s also a lot of compromise. I desperately don’t like change.
And I don’t want to be a b***h and lead this lovely guy on when Im feeling this way. Surely you should be excited at the thought of meeting back up for a date. I just don’t know anymore.
@MiniKitten Hey, I know exactly how you feel, relationships are complicated and sometimes the emotional and logical side of ourselves clash at what we should do. Keep in mind this is just my personal opinion, so please don't feel pressured to take what I say to heart <3
I think that not having been in a relationship is definitely not a bad thing! 25 is still young and spending your life doing what genuinely makes you happy is truly worthwhile. Relationships bring a lot of happiness, but as you said, they can be quite compromising, even disheartening. If you feel that you're not quite ready to head into a relationship, never feel pressured to do so, many successful relationships work out even when the couple meet in their late thirties!
If you'd like, you could talk to this young man about how you feel, if he's a wonderful guy he'll support you and let you take your time. But if you ever realize that you don't really need a romantic man/woman in your life, that's ok too. Never feel like you have to be someone you aren't.
Sending love and support,
Sparkly kitten <3
@MiniKitten It is okay to not have a partner at 25 and is honestly not a bad thing either. Connecting and making relationships are not always so easy. I'd follow my gut feeling and try one more date with the guy if you still have that feeling maybe he's just not right for you even though he is lovely and kind.
@MiniKitten
where are these rules written that by this age you need to do this or at that age you need to do that.
If you enjoy your alone time and have doubts like feeling in your stomach maybe that is a sign this is not the right time or person......
IMO too many people do things because they are a certain age or friends say so etc..... you know what you want you should heed any sign of hesitation do not pretend because you think you need a partner by a certain age.