1 year since we met. my heart is still breaking for him.

i don’t know what to do anymore.

i can barely even write because of how sad this situation makes me. i’d like to write about a story that took place seven months ago, when i last wrote here on 7 cups.

i’ve done so much since then to change my life, i’ve changed just about everything i possibly could. but he is still on my mind. i had a dream about him recently. i hadn’t seen him in any of my dreams in a long time.

i love the person i was around him. i love how i felt when i was with him. how is he just gone and how am i supposed to accept that?

he told me he loved me seven months ago and then instantly abandoned me. i feel like a baby that can’t stop crying when i remember this. i want to forget it but i don’t. our friendship and connection was so beautiful and unique. i had never had a connection like that before. it feels like i’m in mourning.

it’s been almost a year since i first met him. and i still love him as much as i did then. he was one of my most best friends. we bonded instantly and i still can’t imagine the rest of my life without him. we made each other so happy and i still can’t believe he could let go of that. i find myself at unexpected moments checking to see if he has called or texted me. nobody has made me as happy as he did. i miss him and i love him so much, ill miss him for the rest of my life. i mean we LITERALLY had so much chemistry and such a beautiful bond. i never thought i would meet someone who would connect with me the way he did. no one has connected with me like that ever since.

i feel like im grieving one of the most important people to ever come into my life. i don’t know how i’ll ever be okay again.