i just can't open up to friends anymore
i am not someone who trusts people easily. if i get to the point i think of someone as my friend, it really means something to me. they are the people i feel won't just up and leave me when the going gets tough in my life.... right now i'm feeling like i need some sort of new system in figuring out who my friends are because most of them have done so even though i've been keeping myself from talking about troubles in my life anymore... and there are a lot of really hard things happening right now.
this morning i found out, once again, that my husband had lied about something to me.... and it was a big deal because not losing our home is riding on what he didn't do while trying to hide something. i was frustrated and opened up about it. the response i got from someone i thought was my friend? "you married him".... uhm... to me that is super inappropriate and just pretty much felt like a slap to my face. that particular phrase is a phrase that my family has always used jokingly... especially when any of my family or myself have done something eye-roll worthy. it happens a lot. this morning it was used dismissively and like she couldn't have cared about it.
i really just don't think that it is a response that should be used in response to someone talking about things on a more serious level. yeah, believe me, when stuff is going on we know who we are married to. especially during trying times... we remember. there's a thing called 'vows' and we took them. "for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health"... believe me, we know and remember... but if someone actually feels comfortable enough to talk about something serious around you, don't just try and dismiss it so easily with something like that. it hurts.
yes, she didn't know everything that has brought my family to our current situation... and that's not her fault, but now i just feel like we aren't friends like she made us seem and made me feel... and i just don't think i can even talk to her about anything. i thought i found a trust and comfort in her. it meant something... especially when a person like myself opens up to someone i get to a point that i feel like i can consider a friend. i don't get there easily anymore... and now i'm hurting even more with nobody i can talk to once again.
How old are you? When I was a teen/early 20's .. all my friends were around to hang out, party, get wasted, and find the guys. We did stupid shit and got in trouble and had fun, but eventually the shit got old b/c we were getting older. People grew up, got married or graduated college, found a good job, and everyone went their separate ways. I remember one of my supposed best friends from grade school decided to turn Muslim and just left. Then my other supposed best friend went her own way b/c she thought she was too good for me since she got a really nice job and thought her co-workers were her new buddies and I was junk. A lot of females are fake like silicone in those $10,000 Pam Anderson boobs. lol Your best friend should be your husband. My husband is my only friend. I trust my husband more than my own mother. We all have a gut instinct. What do you really think is going on? Don't beat around the bush w/your husband. Friends come and go. The man you married should be your best friend.
@TransAm85 i'm always very open and honest with my husband, but he has lied to me and hid things from me our entire marriage. it's become par for the course, sadly. i still love him like crazy and i can be 100% me around him, but some days [[especially when he is the main cause of some major strife in our lives]] it's nice to actually have a friend to talk to and keep myself calm. i deal with a lot of person issues and am not kind to myself, so having someone to reach out to makes a big difference since i spend most of my days alone. i've never had many friends, let alone many that i felt close to, so it's hard to feel like i have lost/don't have that connection when i was lead to believe i did
