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Whatever I do, this friendship may be over. (or never was to begin with).

tryingnottobeahermit March 13th, 2016

A friend I was hanging out with during the winter started to see someone a few weeks ago. Instead of telling me that she was into this guy she runs with, she started to push me away. When she finally told me she was seeing someone, my anxiety about being abandoned caused a bad reaction to the news. A few days later (after another rough conversation) she texted me that we needed to "give it some time". After texting back that I could give her some time, her texted response was "OK, cool. Well then try again in the future.". It seemed like a really FINAL statement to me.

I realized later that my hurt was based on a unhealthy attachement to her that did not match the 2 1/2 months we had been friends. Texted her back with this epiphany and she was really receptive to the idea of still being friends. I wanted to talk about everything, but she was not receptive to talk about "my issues". So, I asked her to give me a few days to get my feelings under control and work on a postive attidude. When I was ready a few days ago, I texted her that I was OK and would be up for doing something this week (like we used to). More than 24 hours later she still has not responded (I texted her yesterday to make sure she had received it, which she said she did). It never used to take her more than a couple of hours to at least respond that she wanted to hang out as well.

I sent a follow up text yesterday afternoon, but still no response. I don't know where I stand now. Two supsicions seem to be likely; 1. She doesn't really want to continue our friendship, but is afraid to tell me. 2. She left her boyfriend alone with her phone and he intercepted and deleted my messages. Unfortunantly, communication at this point is one sided, not that it really matters. I really want to talk to her face-to-face, but, it appears, the only way to get her to talk is to just show up at her door. No matter what I say, in some way, I will be the loser in this situation.

It really doesn't sit well with me that an existing friend can be tossed away for no real reason.

1
tryingnottobeahermit OP March 13th, 2016

Well, that was disturbingly fast. That friendship is effectively over, even if she hasn't said it yet. I'm done, still going to have a talk (wether she likes it or not) about everything and make sure she knows I'm done. All I realy need to know is how to avoid this situation in the future. Not my choice, but I will release the things out of my control.