Too sensitive?
I used to be a toxic person, and I know what I did. I know people might hate or resent me for it...
But the people I live with, they used to be my friends. I have to play friendly because the truth is not appropriate nor useful right now.
It's just hard because it's not like I was the ONLY toxic person. They were far from stable as well, but while I've tried to forgive the past and not hold it against them, they continue doing so. It's not even communicated appropriately at all, it's usually passive aggressive and mocking.
I've yet to bring it up. But in all honesty, I don't want to.
These people don't help me grow. They control aspects of my life, don't believe me, and don't wnat to hear what I have to say. Their 'support' is mocking me until I give in. There's nothing that they will offer me, our relationship is a dead end.
It really puts me down, I am trying to change but it doesn't seem to mean anything. I have problems being vulnerable and admitting to flaws, because I was constantly put down and mocked as a kid. Admitting to my flaws and trying to open, only to be mocked, it's really...
Most similar discussions were taken personally...
They really aren't terrible people, but we don't mix. Their still-present toxic habits just happen to be my weaknesses as well. I'm honestly really close to blowing up, but I really don't want to. I'd rather settle things civilly, but I don't want to live the way they wnat me to, but I don't want to hurt them either. I already did, and it's unnecessary.
Anyone have advice? Am I too sensitive? What do I do?
@0820170719105
It's not easy to be a certain way and to not be appreciated, understood and beloved in. It's not easy, we all have the need, and the need is to love and be to be loved.
I can tell you what to do, but I won't. Because it won't work, because you know yourself best and what may seem best to me may not be best for you. All I can do is tell you how I would approach things if I was in a somewhat similar situation.
I think the only decision I would have is to trust my instincts, if they tell me to leave, I would, if it's to stay, I will. But in this case my instincts tell me to leave, so it's simple, simple thing to do is to tell them "I don't want to keep in contact anymore and don't wish to be contacted ever again in the future due to my own personal needs. Thank you"
I would add more things depending on their emotional level, but since they aren't the most understanding and encouraging company, I will keep that final message to as simple as possible.
I would leave because I don't believe I can change people or should change people when they don't want to or see the need to. So all I can do is look after myself and leave. I can't control if they will feel hurt either by my decision, so I just need to look out for myself and it's perfectly healthy thjng to do.
@Rivelino3
Maybe you are sensitive. Maybe you arent. But you are how you are. And that's fine, if it's not for others, then I think they have a problem
@0820170719105 no, you're not too sensitive at all. you're around people who hold very little empathy. Don't let anyone tell you you're toxic. There's no such thing as toxic people, we all handle things differently. I hate that label. They don't even have a problem with you, they're mocking you until you give in because they know you will, and it makes them feel better about themselves. The problem is them, not you. If they control aspects of your life and make you feel bad about yourself, or mock you when you express yourself, they are not your friends -- at all. Cut them off.
Thanks everyone for still taking the time to repsond, it means a lot...
@Rivelino3
Thank you for not trying to tell me what to do. Thanks for the advice of keeping things simple, I'll try to remember that when the right time comes.
@dworth257
I mean, I actually do agree with them when I was described as toxic...even if they hadn't said it i knew it already.
But, You have a good point about them lacking many crucial aspects of being a real friend. I never really noticed it, I think I probably will put distance between us from now on
