Story about me and a female friend (repost)
I know Hikaru (her nickname) from an MMORPG since 2012. We both live in Asia, same city. She is 7 years older than me, average looking, shorter than me. We first met outside in December 2015, we and couple of people from Star Wars fanpage went to see SW ep 7 together. When I stood near. her I was attracted by the smell from her hair, it was really strong smell, make me almost I want to kiss her but of course I held back. Eversince I keep thinking about her, imagine cuddling her on bed. We met outside 2nd time on April at a cosplay convention. There were me cosplay as an Assassin, Hikaru and her DA cosplay group. We were mainly going around taking pictures. I recognize that smell again when I stood near her. She spend most of her free time playing that MMORPGS, more time than me so she have many characters, BIS pve gear. We are in the same guild every weekend she goes rading with the guild, the hardest mode. I did go raiding with the guild a few times a while ago, I hardly login the game anymore because I am college now. From what I see, she is like a hardcore gamer. We have some differences like she is a Bioware fan but I am not, those differences are not really serious so I can tolerate. Beside that MMORPG, me and her dont really have anything else in common. Sometime we do talk about Marvel stuff but not much. We both watched GOT in the last few years but recently I decide to stop watching it because I cant handle that kind of violence and sexual anymore. She try to covince me to continue with the series but it doesnt work. So -1 thing for us to talk about.
I consider her as a close female friend, not that I have any female friend before playing the MMORPG. I my mind I want to be close to her, but of course in reality it doesnt look like that. It is quite painful (emotionally) that whenever I lie on bed she is not beside for me to cuddle.
Feel free to leave any comment or question.
@Callos I'm sorry for how you feel. It must be hard on you to not have your feelings reciprocated.
You've mentioned being on friendly terms with her. Do you feel she might feel something for you? If so, taking things slowly but steadily is often helpful. If not, the sooner you'd work on making newer friends with mutual interests and feelings, the better it would be for you, it seems. Please know that your options are not limited to a single person. And you'd only be able to find someone who would return your feelings if you'd focus on others and work for it.
Best wishes to you :)
@SashMair I am pretty sure that she doesnt feel anything for me. I am just a guy she know online and hang out with a couple of times. I understand that I am having an unhealthy obsession over her. It wont go away anytime soon.
@Callos Hey! As hard as it is to see, very few understand the reality of it all. And to admit it and voice in out in the open is an immense act of courage. I know nothing I say could probably ease your ache but I'm so proud of you to have known and accepted the truth. And yes, truth definitely hurts. Immensely, if I may say. But it is here onwards that you can make a different journey and shape your fate. Gradually, you can choose to think different thoughts (or divert your mind when you have the ones that do not serve you). It is here onwards that a lot of change can take place. Don't force yourself to feel otherwise or nothing at all. (incase that is what you're doing or thinking of doing). That is unhealthy towards your growth. Allow yourself to feel and just be. You do not need to acknowledge these thoughts. They can come and go. (I don't know if that makes sense to you but what I mean to say is, with time, bit by bit, this could possibly change if you wish for it to be so. And I'm saying this because you have acknowledged the reality of how things actually are)
Having said that, it is always good to have a friend or a confidante. Some friendships endure testing times better than relationships. Knowing you have someone that good can be a consolation. If not, and if it only makes you feel more miserable, then doing what's good for you is the best alternative (taking a break, for example).
Best wishes. <3
