My Best Friend is Pregnant

@myaekingheart I can understand why you're feeling that way, it may feel as though she's living your dream? Or that she has the one thing you dreamed about and wished so much for?
What are you studying, if you don't mind me asking? Have you looked into different jobs that you can get from studying that area once you graduate?
Do you think having a list of goals, for example Getting a stable job, passing a driving test etc, as a way of working towards being in a place you would feel comfortable enough that you would feel ready for a child, would be helpful? I think it's important to remember that we all acomplish things at different stages in our lives, or at different ages in our lives, as easy as it can be to compare ourselves to others, we're not the same people and we won't reach the same achievements, goals or milestones at the same time. That doesn't mean we won't reach them at all though!

You sound like you're very close with her. Are you feeling as though the baby might come between your friendship? Do you think helping her out with the child and being there for her in the pregnancy as a friend will help you to feel any better? <3
It does sound like you're very close though, so I'm sure that even as she has the child, you're still important to her too!

I hope things improve for you soon!

@CommunityModCathy

Kind of both. Nobody really knows how much Ive thought about having kids myself other than her, like Im kind of closet fascinated and shes the only person Ive been open about it with. I so desperately want kids, even though I know Im not currently at a point in my life where its plausible. I think about it constantly, though. It does feel kind of like shes living my dream in that regard, like I dont know. It just happened really suddenly so Im kind of dizzy from it.

Im studying English with a concentration in creative writing, and the goal is to become a novelist someday. I know I have the stamina and ability to actually do the thing because Ive been writing novel-length fiction for years (nothing I can publish professionally, however—its just fanfiction but Im highly dedicated to what Ive been working on and the current piece is almost to 500 pages after only a little over a year of working on it). I havent looked deeply into jobs yet, though. Advisors have recommended doing internships before I graduate but I still have to complete all my minor coursework and am scheduled to graduate this upcoming spring so I dont really have the time. A list of goals would be helpful, but its hard when it takes two people and so much of my future is dependent on my boyfriends plans, as well (which currently are uncertain in that he knows what he wants to do but its the matter of getting there thats the trouble). I dont even know where were going to be in a year or whats going to happen for us, whether hell be done college by then or pursuing his career goals or if were going to move back to our hometown or still be living in the college town were currently in or what. Its all very uncertain and that bothers me, too, but I guess thats a rant for another forum thread.

I am kind of scared the baby will come between our friendship, though. I dont want to feel jealous at all and the thought of feeling this way makes me feel so sick but I feel like now that shes having a baby, the extremely close relationship weve built up is in danger. Shes always been the person Ive gone to to vent or cry or seek advice or even just have long-winded intellectual conversations but now that shes pregnant, it just feels like anything I might be going through is insignificant and worthless and petty compared to growing a literal human being in your body. I feel like she wont have room for me in her life anymore because all of her time and attention will be occupied by a child. I think the current distance in our relationship doesnt help, either—she lives in my hometown nearly five hours away and we hardly see each other in person anymore, so for the past two years that Ive been away at school our friendship has mostly been through texting each other nearly every single day. Im sure it would be different if I was physically in the same town as her but since Im not, I guess the distance thats already there between us makes this ten times worse.