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Jealous Coworker
PlzDontPanic July 18th, 2018
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I was promoted at work due to my predessessors death. Now I have a coworker who has been kind of rude and jealous always has something to say if I wear makeup or something that shows me off at all she will point it out. I've seen her looking at my breasts so I think she might be sexually bothered by me and trying to disguise it by being rude. I tried the route of being friendly and being even vulnerable with her and spoke to her about things that were happening in my life, and she later used them to belittle me. After I got promoted she started acting even worse. Bringing up my wardrobe at our meetings, coming into my office to just be distruptive thinking she's funny. I posted a pic of myself in the office to insta feeling good about myself and my day of work and she commented, "so this is what you do all day". In fact, I had been at work before and after her every day for months, and I posted this image at closing time before I locked up. As a salaried professional who stays 3 hours longer than is recquired of me per day I don't think it's a problem that I took time to take a selfie. I eat my lunch while I work. I keep long hours. I don't know why I feel like I need to defend myself. She's just annoying me and I know thats what she wants.

2
virtualhealer July 18th, 2018
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@PlzDontPanic

The co-workers challenge you. That's an open war, she tried to belittle you so your subordinates won't have respect on you anymore

Remember great power brings great responsibility. Time to show that your value progreses, and that is one of the reasons for your present promotion

AndreaTuckLCPC July 19th, 2018
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Hey there @PlzDontPanic

I am sorry to hear that your coworker is being rude to you in your new position. My first thing is to say congradulations! You may have inherited the position but if the company wanted someone else they would have hired someone else so you earned it! Don't let anyone take that achievement away from you.

My other thought is that your coworker is showing her own insecurities in regard to your promotion. In a lot of respects her attitude towards you may not be about you but about what you represent in reflection of herself. Mind you, none of this requires for you to do anything. That is all internal but she is displaying it externally towards you.

I have two suggestions, one would be to have a meeting with all of your new staff and set the tone for how you want tor run your ship. Clearly state what the boundaries are and what will or will not be acceptable. You are no longer their peer, you are their boss and I'm going to assume hers to. Make sure that is it is clear. The second one is to document all of these interactions that you have had with her as far as you can remember then report it to HR if it persists according to the code of conduct. To me what she is doing sounds like harassment and some companies may agree. Third (bonus) I would keep all interactions with her professional, respectful and short. I would also refrain from posting things on social media or even blocking her so that she cannot track what you do.

She has drawn the line in the sand so make sure you draw yours too. Good luck!

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