I don't know how to maintain friendships
I have no problem making them. but once I've established them, its like an instinct to destroy them kicks in, as does the overwhelming desire to not do that. I don't know how to communicate, and I feel like I always have to try and anticipate what any possible reaction to anything I say will be.
This is honestly one of the things I struggle with the most. And right now, I'm completely alone, because I ahve either destroyed my relationships or driven people away. And I'm not used to having nobody. But for some reason, I do the same thing and make the same mistakes every time, no matter what approach I take.
And its come to the point where I kind of believe that it will always end that way and then end up going into a new friendship like "Well this will be nice while it lasts, however long that is this time..."
Part of me thinks...maybe I'm not meant to have friends? Maybe I wasn't built for relationships?
@livinlifejb,
I feel exactly the same. I can get pass the happy, fun and jokes part. But going deeper, I can't.
My depression kicks in and I cannot handle things as well. I make it awkward... Even if people want to help... I think they don't know what they are in for.
I dare to disclose to the listeners here. The majority left, others block. I don't think it's gonna work at all. I feel like my relationships are so weak and thin.
Maybe if I was more normal and cool headed.
You are not alone. When people suddenly end my friendships I always try to figure out what went wrong, but usually can't. It has got to the point that I am hesitant to try and meet new people. I really want to avoid more heartbreak and pain. I don't know what to do about it myself.
It appears that you have two people with you in this boat. Maybe as this boat fills with people we can all find the friends we desire.
I feel both your pain..... my issue is trust