Husbands Bestfriend getting too friendly with me
So dh has a Bestfriend since infancy. They grew up together born same year went to same school from same hometown everything. He's married to someone from my hometown and our families have grown together. Our kids are also Bestfriends since infancy and we've grown quite close.
About 3 yrs ago he tried to make a pass at me when dh was not home. He came to pick up his eldest who was hanging out with my eldest. Well he asked about a faux tree I have in the entertainment room/familyroom. He came up behind me and continually tried to wrap his arms around my waist. I pushed him away once and during the remainder of his visit kept things in between us. When I told dh he was very upset and asked me why I was downstairs to begin with. I snapped that it's my house and I NEVER expected him to pull that $hit. So we avoided them for almost a yr. when we finally got together with their family again he was behaving normally again. Until after a few months of getting together through birthdays and BBQs he tried again at his house. I resorted to NEVER being alone ANYWHERE in his house so if I had to go to the bathroom I'd ask dh to walk me etc etc. well yesterday he came over with his youngest baby and his eldest to drop off a gift for C bc they were unable to come to a bbq party on Saturday. He behaved up until I walked him to the door and dh had to use the restroom. I was shaking his hand when he pulled me forward and tried to accidentally kiss me. I pulled back and pushed him but the $shithead stepped back before dh saw him. so I'm pissed and idk what to do. I stuck between hell and a hard place because either I can handle it and that way our families can still be friends but this guy knows he needs to stop or if I let my husband handle it that means that our families are probably going to break apart my our kids are probably not not gonna be best friend. And there might be the possible rift between my husband and I because of it his best friend it if I let him handle it. We don't get together often like I said but when we do every time I'm away from my husband he tries to pull something so I'm perplexed I don't know what to do.
@LPyMP I think it shows amazing forgiveness from you and your husband part husband's part for working past this once but clearly the guy has a compulsion. in my opinion you and your family should definitely sever all ties with that guy. He has caused this and you should not feel guilty. Childhood friendships sometimes end for a variety of reasons but as humans we are resilient and the greatest harm to your children's happiness is allowing the other man's uncontrolled compulsions to affect your family. Good luck
@Illinut
And right now that is my reasoning that he's old enough to know better the only thing that I don't understand is before we used to hang out all the time I mean we've been family friends for 18+ years and nothing is ever happened up until maybe five years ago when he started having problems with his wife and I'm not trying to justify him or anything I just don't understand if maybe she's trying to get a rise out of her because most of the times that he's tried to do his stuff is when she was around so I don't know if he was trying to get a rise out of her I don't know what to think as far as the situation goes
@LPyMP In my opinion understanding why he now acts on this compulsion is not important. The fact is he continues to repeat it as the years go by. It poses a serious risk of creating an awkward rift between the men (putting it mildly) and the women, but most importantly between you and your husband. What are your husband's boundaries for his friends? How many chances do friends get to cross over boundaries? I think the other guy has made unforgivable advances because he has compulsions.
Oof, that's rough!
Unfortunately I think it might be best to sever ties. Your husband's "best friend" is not ACTING like a friend at all by making unwanted advances. And the stress it puts on you is not to be discounted, of course.
While it sucks that your kids might also lose a best friend in this scenario, they'll rebound. It's not worth ssacrificing your happiness in this regard for theirs.
So he came by the store a few days ago where I work ( he always shops there ) and tried to lean in for a hug when I stopped him and made it VERY clear I was DONE with his BS. I let him know that if he ever tries to be inappropriate again there'd be HE LL to pay and that he'd not only lose his bf but his wife as well. He apologized stating that he misread my friendliness for something else. I snapped that IF I was friendly and kind was bc his BF showed me how to be so bc before him I was a cold bitter person and if he needed affection he really needs to talk to his wife. I told him I understand that he and DH have been friends from infancy and THIS was his last chance to behave like the gentleman I was introduced to 18+ yrs ago. He apologized and swore he'd behave. So idk if I did right or wrong but I needed to make my point without my dh coming to my rescue. I felt like this is something that HAD to come from ME.
