How do you warn your friend?
There's a guy in school, A, that I used to be om talking terms with before finding out his true character/nature (series of incidents helped reveal this); and thereafter avoided, because I I tend to choose the more peaceful resolution as far as possible. I have no doubt he knows I would rather he stay away. Yet I have a friend, B, he wasn't close to and is now talking frequently to. I'm not sure what to do because said friend has the right to choose who she befriends, but at the same time when she asked why I don't feel positively about that guy I'm not sure what I should say. I don't want to come off as judgy or anything but I feel like I shouldn't just stand by and say nothing. What should I do?
When I'm in situations like those I'm pretty forward about how I feel. I wouldn't be rude about it and say "That person's a douche," rather I'd say "I don't have anything against this person, but I'd rather not mix with him or her. It's just a gut feeling."
Thanks for the reply! I would do that except my friend's the type of person who needs proof/"examples" of what has happened. Actually even then she doesn't usually believe them until she sees things herself. If I were to say it's a gut feeling it will be brushed off lol. Another problem is that guy A has a tendency to twist facts. If you were to catch him in an outright lie he would pretend he never said it at all. Which gives me a major headache because even if I were to say what has happened I can't guarantee he won't try to turn things around. 😕
Some people are like that and have to fall before they believe the people warning them. Just be there to pick B up if needed. If you've told her how you feel and it isn't good enough, then that's on B and not on you. Frustrating, but that's life. You can't go wrong with honesty.
I agree with above. Be honest with your friend about your decision to stay away. Don't tell B what she should decide, just make sure she knows what you decided. And be aware that anything you say could very likely be passed to A. So if this matters, be careful with your wording.