How do I tell them ....
So since I've been recovering from depression, anxiety and substance abuse I have not been in contact with my closest friends. With this time apart I realized that one major thing that they do is not support me,areclosed minded towards my ideas and undermine me as a person. Usually I would turn my back on friendships and walk away but this is something that I actually want to work out but don't know where to start. How do I tell them that this hurts me and ask them to change it for the sake of our friendship.
Think about the most important things you'd like them to know. Tell them this and let them know how their past behavior made you feel. Ask if they would be willing to work with you to mend the relationship, and provide them tips so they know how to move forward should they want to. Try not to focus too heavily on the negative and place more emphasis on the change you'd like to see. (sometimes people shut down when they are feeling blamed/accused, and typically respond much more positively to suggestions for improvement)
Thanks so much and I've been pondering on your advice for the last few days and still cant figure out where to start.
If it feels overwhelming to do it all at once, you could always start by just saying something like you haven't seen/heard from them in a long time and you'd like to hang out. Then you could wait for issues to resurface and address them as they come up, one by one. Does that seem like it might be more manageable?
Emphasize to them what makes you upset and offer little suggestions to make it work. Friendships get tough but communication will help voice both of you guy's opinions. What you're dealing with is hard without support and you deserve to have your friends there to help you along the way.
Maybe if you stay way longer, and contemplate on positive chang.es within yourself, you will find that you wont be needing or wanting their negativities, and when you find the words to say, they can either accept or decline, then you will know what to say and do. Maybe they are not such friends.