Holding on to friends
Im in my first year at college, and Ive been realizing that I actually have no idea how to make or keep friends, except perhaps by proximity. It wasnt a factor for years, in high school; I had my best friend, who Ive been friends with since we were little, and I made friends along the way, somehow. Except now, I rarely talk to any of them, including my best friend, and Im wondering whether maybe we only ever became friends incidentally; whether my friendships were ever anything real or lasting. I know I dont know how to talk to people, how to get conversations going or keep them going, and it seems like my friends rarely try, on their side of things. Ive finally sort of started making friends at college but I havent fully connected with anyone, and Im afraid I never will.
The point is, I guess- I cant lose my friends. I feel like theyre slipping away and Im terrified and I dont know if its my fault, but it probably is, at least in part; I dont know how to talk to them, and I guess after a while they mightve stopped bothering trying to talk to me. Im afraid of having passed some point of no return. If I try to talk to them, theyll probably reassure me, but without something to back it up itll just feel empty.
@paulibookworm
Yes, I hear you Bookworm. I can relate to your thoughts on many levels.
It is not easy to build relationships. It takes lot of time, efforts and courage. It becomes difficult when we do not know how to initiate, keep it going or move on from a stuck talk.
One of the ways I found helpful is asking questions on the topic of their interests. Give them a chance to talk about what they like and listen them.
You know people love when you give them attention and your time. I guess who doesn't.
Maybe you could try and believe in the process? Friendship is not a destination. It is a journey.
What do you think? Please correct me if I am wrong. Would love to hear back.
