Help with Friendship Drama
I'm in this squad and things are looking bad because we're all getting stressed in the holliday break. The worst being a new drama that came up between two of them
My friend, wo will stay unnamed, are having troubles because the boy recently broke up with the girl because he came out as gay and that shook some things, but the girl has started being very rude and hurtful to him. He's feeling a lot of pressure and feeling terrible because of that with her and everything that comes with this season. The reason this involes me is because I was told about the problem by him and the girl wants to know what's wrong with him because he's not talking to her much because it hurts him. She asked me what was happening and I had no idea how to respond so I lied, but I feel bad. She's been crying a lot about it and he's been so stressed and depressd about it all.
I want to help, but I don't know how and it's making me feel worse seeing them like that becaue I'm very sensitive to people and emotions and the auras they give off with those emotions. Does anyone have an suggestions on what to do?
Thanks,
Puppy
@AnxiousLesbianPuppy
Moved your thread from Depession sector to Relationships - Friendships.
Hi Puppy, that sounds like a stressful situation to be in. Being caught between friends, especially those who are going through relationship problems, can put a lot of unwanted pressure on someone. I think honesty is the best way to go. Both sides are understandable, as it is a huge shock and can feel like a betrayal to be broken up with in general, and added to that stress is that one side is going through an interesting/difficult/confusing personal time that the other may not understand nor want to accept. Her initial reaction of being mean to him is hurtful and unnecessary, but a little understandable. However, she should know when enough is enough, and in any break up case, being petty towards the ex is never a positive path for anyone involved and always unnecessary. Especially when he is going through coming out, being hounded by an ex understandably makes him very stressed and depressed. If they were my friends, I would ask them if they could go on a silent break for a while. While both parties are so confused, if they keep asking about each other through you, it just leads to more confusion and stress. I would let everything settle and everyone calm down, and likely the girl will naturally understand more and calm down and move on. It is unfair to feel like you were not as significant as you'd hoped to be to someone, but it's important to help her understand that she wasn't hurt on purpose I suppose.
If you feel like it's becoming too overwhelming for you because you are emotionally sensitive to all of this, be sure to know that it's okay to speak up about it and to take a break to practice self care. It's also extremely annoying to be caught in the crossfire between a couple breaking up, especially when both sides are your friends, and in the end they're adults and should work out their relationship without a messenger in between. It's totally okay to let your friends know that you cannot talk about it for a while and need to rest.
@WildUnknown
Thank you very much. This post is very helpful. The thing that is hard about this is that the girl is still a friend of all of us, we're a squad and she's still there. She seems to have no idea what's going on and that she's been hurting the guy. I want to talk to her about it but I know it's not my place.
@AnxiousLesbianPuppy
Well, if you are all a squad and one of you is causing some major upset, it may indeed be your place (and everyone else's) to try to talk to her about it, and let her know what's going on and how you all feel. Maybe without even accusing her of anything or whatever, just tell her how you feel, and how it's being caused in some part by her behaviour lately. You are always entitled to telling those close to you how you feel.
