Feeling Unheard and Unnoticed
Sometimes my voice gets lost in large groups [of friends], and it hurts to not be heard. Mostly in virtual spaces, where I can't be physically present in the conversations. It's to such a degree, that at first I thought it must have been an issue with my microphone, or an internet connectivity problem, but I've since established that they can hear me perfectly well.
Even via group message, nobody acknowledges or responds to what I say. It makes me feel like a loser, like what I'm saying is irrelevant, like a little kid who is not connecting with the flow of conversation - but I know for a fact that I am!
It's incredibly frustrating, and when I point out to them that it feels like they can't hear me, they deny it, say they can hear me. Look, I can handle feeling irrelevant on a cosmic, global, even national or local scale. But I would like to feel at least a little bit significant among my friends!
It just makes me want to retract back into my shell of solitude, disconnect from everyone to save myself from feelings of discomfort. Seems like they wouldn't notice anyway.