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Feeling Unheard and Unnoticed
2aphod8eeblebrox August 1st, 2022
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Sometimes my voice gets lost in large groups [of friends], and it hurts to not be heard. Mostly in virtual spaces, where I can't be physically present in the conversations. It's to such a degree, that at first I thought it must have been an issue with my microphone, or an internet connectivity problem, but I've since established that they can hear me perfectly well.

Even via group message, nobody acknowledges or responds to what I say. It makes me feel like a loser, like what I'm saying is irrelevant, like a little kid who is not connecting with the flow of conversation - but I know for a fact that I am!

It's incredibly frustrating, and when I point out to them that it feels like they can't hear me, they deny it, say they can hear me. Look, I can handle feeling irrelevant on a cosmic, global, even national or local scale. But I would like to feel at least a little bit significant among my friends!

It just makes me want to retract back into my shell of solitude, disconnect from everyone to save myself from feelings of discomfort. Seems like they wouldn't notice anyway.

6
Sunisshiningandsoareyou August 1st, 2022
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Hey @2aphod8eeblebrox, glad you've found a space to voice your feelings. ❤

It's incredibly sad and frustrating indeed to be unacknowledged and unheard by our own friends, feeling upset about the same is super valid, I'd feel disheartened also.

This is so not the way to treat friends, one should feel safe, heard, valid, important and valued in the company of friends, even virtual, since there still is a human with feelings behind the screen who's trying to make a conversation also and deserves to feel included, like what they say matters too. I'm truly sorry your friends have been acting in a nonchalant way with you, it's good to know you did try telling them how you're feeling, and I'd like for a better answer from them too, to actually make some amends where possible, it certainly doesn't hurt to acknowledge others around us.

To a group of good friends, it should matter if their other friend is bothered by something, or there could be something done to help them feel more valued also. ❤ I hope they reconsider :/ you deserve much better here!

2aphod8eeblebrox OP August 1st, 2022
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@Sunisshiningandsoareyou Thank you for reading and for saying this. It feels good to be validated here!

It's strange that it is just the group settings - groups of 2 or 3 are always fun and fine. I'll stick with those smaller gatherings for now, I think.

Sunisshiningandsoareyou August 1st, 2022
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@2aphod8eeblebrox

No worries, I'm glad you felt heard and validated. ❤

Aw that's a fair thing to consider, smaller groups do help in establishing and maintaining stronger bonds, sounds good to me also to stick what you're feeling comfortable with at this time. Hope things get better on this front for you.

Psalm139 August 1st, 2022
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@2aphod8eeblebrox Hi! Just another member here, but I don't feel comfortable competing for attention in groups so I've found the sharing circle is helpful here. Just go to group chat and go in the room and then you can get in the queue by typing an * after the host says the queue is open. They will let you know when it is your turn to share. Everyone gets 7 minutes to share and others just give encouraging words or you can request to be uninterrupted. Just an idea if you need or want to be heard 💙

2aphod8eeblebrox OP August 1st, 2022
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@Psalm139 Thank you kindly! I'm slowly getting acquainted with all the many features of this site, you are so very helpful!

Psalm139 August 1st, 2022
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@2aphod8eeblebrox Of course 💙

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