Draining friendship
I've had this one friend who I've known for most of my life and I can't imagine living without him but I've had an issue with him more and more lately. He has mental breakdowns on the daily and I've tried to support him and help in whatever way I can but it's never enough. It never helps and at this point he's very resistant to my (and our entire friend group's) efforts to help. It gets to a point where everyday we have to go through some many hoops just to find out what's wrong today.
I know it sounds like I'm being incredibly harsh but I'm dealing with so many issues in my own life too and I can't keep doing this everyday. It's draining so much from me and at some point I'm gonna have nothing else to give. If I don't respond to his vaguely suicidal tweets within minutes I suddenly "have never cared about him". I can't even leave this friendship either (and I don't want to) because he's made it very clear he'll kill himself if I ever do.
it's been cutting into my other relationships too. The other day I had to cancel plans with my partner to watch a show together online to comfort my friend. If this happened once or a few times I wouldn't care but it's daily and I just can't handle it anymore. I don't know what to do. Any advice or input at all would be very helpful. Thank you if you've read through all of this.
@Lavendaire. You're trying so hard to be a good friend and you are but you are clearly at the point where you need to set boundaries for yourself. It's ok to do that, it's part of self care. He does need to get professional help which I know you said he resists. You can't make him get help unless he has a suicide plan (then call911) but you can tell him you do care but you feel he needs someone trained to help. Find some therapists names even if you think it might help. Then tell him nicely that you cannot be there every day. Then don't be. You must take care of yourself. And your other relationships. He is manipulating you with the suicide threats and I know that's scary. I think you said you had a friend group, enlist their help too. It's a tough situation but he really needs other help.
