Dealing with a friend with mental issues when you have mental issues.
How do you tell a friend who is sensitive and has mental issues that them always talking to you about their mental issues is draining you, and drains you fast?
They keep asking me if they are too much but I don't have a heart to say "yes, you are. You need to stop always talking about your issues/insecurities to your friends and romantic partner because it's honestly a LOT and the average person can't deal/ isn't trained to handle all this and you need to seek a counselor/therapist"
I know I sound like a bad friend but it really is draining. I'm dealing with my own shit but I don't go about telling her how sad/miserable I am in ALL of our conversations. And she has had an ex-tell her recently that the reason he broke it off with her is because of her always talking about her insecurities, and always needing reassurance.
It's like in the episode of Sex and the City, when Carrie visits Miranda with bagels to cheer her up only to talk about her issues with Big.
My friend self-harms and has told me "what should I do? Just kill myself?" So it feels like walking on eggshells with her when I talk to her. She hates it when I suggest/tell her to try out therapy or counseling and gets into defence mode where she says "why do I have to pay someone to tell them how fucked up my mind is? Why do I have go deal with that? Why can't I just have someone I can go to when I'm feeling down? It's not fair!"
What can I do? When she goes off it's like I'm dealing with a child. 
@Drainedkat
It sounds like you have a good awareness that this person sharing so much drains you. It doesnt make you sound like a bad friend; it makes you sound like you want to find a way to be there for your friend while looking out for yourself too.
You could look at setting boundaries. Maybe you do need to tell her that you dont feel comfortable with some of the topics and are not sure what to say or do. Could you tell her that you need some space that you are trying to deal with what is going on in your own life and that that is making it more difficult to talk to her?
I once have a friend where I had to set a time that she could talk with me. I also felt it did her no good going on and on. I would tell her I had an hour or 30mins and that was it. I once asked my friend what she wanted me to do and it stopped her in her tracks.
Having a friend say something like "what should I do? Just kill myself?" it pretty hard. Could you tell her how that makes you feel? Not that you dont care or wouldnt want her to share but that you are not trained to deal with it but you are there to support her if she wanted to get help.
@Solas I'm afraid to set boundaries. I know I've done that to an ex- friend once and luckily they understood. But that ex-friend started to have the same issues with the topic friend and when I told them to tell her that they need a break for a bit, she took offence and got mad at them.
My friend goes through emotions so drastically that I'm finding it harder to find the proper words to say to her so she understands. I'm afraid if I say something like "I wanna set boundaries for when we talk about your issues" she's going to either be mad at me, or go into a negative spiral where she thinks she's an issue and then hurts herself. But I'll give it a shot and see how she reacts.
@Drainedkat
What ive learned is "you can control how someone handles a situation, the only person you can control is yourself"
I've lost many people who were "friends" due to issues... Sure I sometimes miss their friendship, but at the same time I don't miss the drama. It's a weight off my shoulders, and I sleep better at night... And guess what? Those people are still alive and well without me... Sometimes people just want the attention. People who seek attention use words, people who mean it use actions.
