Complicated Friendship

I met a guy who eventually became my friend. Let's say his name is Jake. We met via email through a project I did in City College of New York. Recently, I told him I like him and don't mind being his victim for his silliness and his insanity via email. He said, "I am glad you feel this way." Then, I called him and we elaborated alittle more on how we feel each other. At the end of our discussion, he said, "I trust you that you love me." I am happy that our feelings are mutual. However, I am not happy with the way things are now. There are two reasons why: there is very little personal boundary and his behavior. For this very little personal boundary, he told me that he is happily married and his wife is important to him. I want to respect his relationship with his wife so I drew the friendship line. I told him that I drew the line so I can protect his relationship. He said, "Thank you." As time passes, I ended up giving him a certain information about me that were alittle sensitive. I told him that I feel vulnerable and he said, "Don't feel this way. I appreciated for what you told me." We started talking about politics and he somehow ended up giving me this advice, "When you start having a long term job, save some money for retirement so you can live a decent life after you retired." I suspected that I ended up hurting his feelings, but he doesn't show it. He hides his somewhere deep down in his heart. That may explain why he said that he trust me that I love him.

Today, he told me about going to visit one of his friends. After he is finished, I sensed that he feels sad and realized I did not tell him how I feel about this. He told me in the past a couple of times, "After the issues is solved on my side, I will go to NYC to visit you." I did not ask him to come to NYC to visit me.

I found our friendship to be strange. I don't mind talking to him via email and phone call but the number of phone calls and emails is abit disturbing. My inbox is almost filled with emails from his. Same with the phone calls. If I did not say good morning or good night to him or I missed his calls, hang up his call accidentally, or did not call him, then I have to explain why.

I want to be his friend and to protect his relationship with his wife without hurting his feelings. I don't know how to do it.