Brokenness making me selfish?
I have cut off friends for as long as I can remember. When I was younger, it was because I strongly didn't like some people or that they were negative. I became unwilling to reach out more, I think because of a fear of abandonment, since there have been times I would reach out with no response. For a long time now, it's because of my anxiety (maybe also depression). It's just so hard for me to make and keep friends.
Last night I realized that it's probably because I'm a bad friend. I tend to seek people only for what I need. I find it hard to truly care about them and their needs. Have I isolated myself so much that it's made me so selfish? And it's not just with friends, but with coworkers. People feel like I don't care. It isn't true, and yet it is. I feel like I'm doomed to not be with people because I'm so selfish and can't reciprocate in the way other people need. I try to seek people out to practice being unselfish. But it just feels the same. Help?
@funnySquare1982 It happens when our opinions don't match with a person we tend to cut them off. Or maybe sometimes we are just trying to protect ourselves and we let go of people. Isolation can make a person selfish since we just focus on ourselves all the time. But this doesn't make you a bad friend, the fact that you realized and are thinking about it tells that you care about them. You are trying to change and that is a positive step towards it. Take one step at a time. You can start with showing more interest in their conversations, ask them how they are, how was their day etc.. don't be hard on your self it is okie if you can't feel anything... it will take time just keep getting involved with people. Let them know you are there for them if they need anything. Don't stop trying.
@Akshita0612
Thank you so much for your perspective and understanding. I really appreciate it.
@funnySquare1982 you're welcome 