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The way I dress

redMoon5704 December 25th, 2021

Idk if this is the place to post. But according to my husband if I wear all black it means I want to have sex. Anyone agree or heard of that? He's mad asf because I wore all black today to a family gathering

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Daydreamer47 December 25th, 2021

@redMoon5704 lol no that's ridiculous. Does he show this type of jealous/controlling behavior a lot?

1 reply
redMoon5704 OP December 25th, 2021

Not really. Other than him getting mad about a guy that's literally like a brother to me gave me a brand new pair of hey dudes because he was going to give them to a girl and he decided not to and since they were my size he gave them to me. And I'm not allowed to talk to the father of my child although that's his best friend. He doesn't usually say anything about how I dress until tonight of all days

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BNickieB January 15th, 2023
@redMoon5704 I find it weird, but I'm sorry you faced this problem. I guess it is better to talk it over with your husband to avoid similar situations in future. Just explain him that your clothes color has no connection with your sexual desires, and he should trust you.
CatzInTheCradle January 15th, 2023

@redMoon5704

If someone wanted to cheat on their partner, they will find a way to do it no matter what they were wearing. If he is insecure in his relationship with you, there will ALWAYS be an excuse for him to doubt you, whether it is your male friends, or how you dress, or who you hang out with, or how friendly you are to strangers, or how much time you spend with him, or the places you go. His insecurity is about his fears; it is not about your behaviours. You could be absolutely perfectly committed and he will still find something to be threatened about. He needs to work on his own insecurities. Having and communicating healthy boundaries and respecting each other’s boundaries is reasonable. But trying to force loyalty by controlling your partner in every way does nothing except foster resentment and make them feel like prisoners in their relationship.

You need to make it clear to him that while you love and respect him as a partner, you’re going to wear whatever colours you feel comfortable in. You’re an adult with autonomy capable of making your own decisions. You don’t have to justify your fashion choices to anyone.

CatsInTheCradle

huanna January 16th, 2023

That is so weird. How it can be linked? Have you tried to talk with your husband? Maybe you can talk it through? I like to wear black for some special occasions. It makes me look slimmer. I have several nice black dresses from Princessly and I really liked them. This one is my favorite. But it doesn't mean I mean sth by wearing it.
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Aayla January 16th, 2023

@redMoon5704 it doesn't make any sense. It sounds like he's looking for an excuse to have a controlling behavior and to justify posessiveness. I'd check if he has other controlling/posessive behaviors because that's a huge red flag.