I feel like I am growing apart from my boyfriend of one year, don't know what to do
Hi everyone,
This could be quite a long post so sorry in advance!
As the title says, I feel like I am growing apart from my boyfriend of one year, he is a great guy and we never had any serious issues up until now, in the last two or maybe three months I felt like we are starting to grow distant as he is always prioritizing spending time with his friends rather than hanging out with me, for example, we used to chat on the phone for at least one hour each day (we live in two different cities so we can't hang out in person often), but in the last few months we basically stopped doing that, If I ask him to just hang out on the phone and chat he says that he's busy, but then goes on Discord with his friends literally two minutes after he said that he was "busy doing stuff", so basically now we are only talking through text which sucks because I miss talking to him on Discord or on the phone, and we haven't seen each other in person lately because he is busy with school work, and speaking of that, he regularly hang out with friends during this time even though he said that he was "too focused on studying", so basically, it looks like he has time for everything but me as of now.
I brought up the subject multiple times and he acknowledged my feelings, he said that he is sorry but he needs a little bit of space, and I understand that, however I feel like I am neglected and taking for granted, which is something that makes me feel sick, I've been considering ending the relationship because of this but I don't know If I am overreacting, I have some attachment issues due to my anxious attachment style ( I used to be in therapy but I had to quit because I lost my job, but I am starting a new job soon and I am really looking forward to starting therapy again) so maybe that plays an huge part in this, I don't know what I should do and If I am just overreacting :(
I also don't have that many friends so maybe I am leaning too much on him, that could be a possibility
Hi
Thanks for sharing your feelings.
Feelings of growing apart are awefull. It's good that you are trying to communicate this too him. Hopefully he realizes soon. Please stay positive and look after yourself
@IAmALittleLight
Hey there, hopefully you are doing well.
It''s understandable how you are feeling about the relationship, it's quite normal the way you feel like things are growing apart. I don't think you are overacting, your intuition has been trying to say something you. I think what you are looking for is to feel connected and bond with him like you used to in the past, but it really seems like he has not done much to make this happen.
It must be incredibly hurtful knowing he has been making plans with other people while not making the time to also make plans for you. You have done great on bringing up this to him, but from the looks of it he didn't make you feel heard and understood. I think the way he said "i need space" must had make you feel disconnected.
You'll have to really think what are your needs and wants on this relationship. It's understandable if he had been behaving like this for a week, but for months it is where you have to consider how much you are willing to tolerate. He has not been making you feel like you are priority, and has not been making an effort. I understand you love and care about him, but at some point it should come a time where you have to put your needs and wants first.
@freshLight64 Thank you so much for your message, I believe you are right, I think I should just take the matter into my own hands and just end the relationship at this point, he had several chances to act and he didn't, so that tells me all that I need to now, it will be painful but so it's neglecting my feelings over and over
