Brand New Numb

Hey all.

I'm going through a lot with relationships and thought I'd post seeking some thoughts and advice in a specific area if that's okay. So for background, I am 32, divorced in the past year. My divorce was painful; my son and I spent some time in a DV shelter as my ex's mental health had deteriorated significantly at the time. Flash forward, I'm on my own with full primary custody, working and going to school.

I met someone recently and we started talking and began dating. I really like this person and he's extremely kind to me. He's been very generous and given us an insane amount of gifts even though we haven't been together a very long time. He is actually ten years younger (not that it matters since we're both adults) but this is his first serious relationship and I think he's just rushing things a bit because he's excited about it all.

Thing is, I feel like I'm not keeping up financially or emotionally. I can't afford to do as much for him as he does for me and I feel guilty, which causes me to overspend trying to reciprocate, causing me more stress, and on and on. I'm also kind of uncomfortable feeling like I owe somebody even though nobody ever said I did... It's really just me I guess. He also wants to spend more and more time with me- we live an hour apart but he is coming to stay here over a couple weekends now and we've spent a handful of days together already plus anywhere from 2-6+ hours on the phone/skype every day. This is hard for me because I'm already a single mom working full time at a law firm plus being a full time graduate student....and I'm somehow trying to scare up a ton of time every day. I love talking to him and spending time with him but it's just hard for me to balance it. The emotional load is also kind of taxing for me as a hardcore introvert since I never have any alone time now.

I am also dealing with some emotional fallout with my ex. He knows I am seeing someone now and has been pretty upset about it. He actually threatened to stop seeing our son and had several meltdowns about it, harassing me over text and saying awful things about me etc. Honestly on one hand, we are divorced and have been for a fair bit now; that seems a little unfair to me. But I'm also not without empathy and understand it's painful for him to deal with. I never try to make a big show about dating somebody or rub it in his face but he acts like I do and I don't understand. Trying to figure out how to be empathetic while retaining boundaries and keeping his emotions from effecting our son.

Sorry for the long, long post and dump but I literally have no one to talk about this stuff to! I hope it was at least interesting to some degree; I'm definitely open to advice!