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Boyfriend Stressed About Our First Apartment
forcefulPeach4022 July 17th, 2023
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Hi

My boyfriend and I got accepted for an apartment today. I'm 23 and he's 22. We've been looking for somewhere for about 2 months. Now we have somewhere secured he is stressing out. He says it is the most stressed out he's been in his life. I want this apartment, I looked for an apartment because my parents are planning on moving to a different state within a year so I thought the sooner the better rather than leave it to the last minute. I can afford this place on my own. He wants to contribute but he is not working a great job right now and has not finished college. He says now he has to frantically apply to anything near our new apartment to get a job even if he doesn't like it. This apartment is about a 45 minute drive to his work. Will be a 25 minute drive to mine. We talked about this and he said he'd be okay with it. Now he is saying he wants to find a new job closer asap. I love him very much but he is stressing me out by being stressed!! I have practically told him he can live here for free but he is still unhappy. Any advice?

2
toughTiger6481 July 17th, 2023
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@forcefulPeach4022

It may be the fear of the unknown .......

when people move in together etc small items can and will pop up

while he was OK while searching....... it becoming a real thing .... things like length of commute and other logistics start to not sound as OK as he thought..... when it was only an idea of possible move.

While you are trying to ease his fears telling him not to worry about the money ,,,, that may make him feel stressed like he is not going to be carrying his own weight and that can cause relationship stress.

wontwakewontsleep July 17th, 2023
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@forcefulPeach4022 - The only thing I can say is live for yourself. You can keep others in mind, and compromise is good, by it has to be equal. Yoou're the one who researched, you're the one who got approved, you have to be comfortable too and you will be living with these memories maybe longer than you will be with the boyfriend. Franky, I'd be so grateful if my partner did all that work so we'd have a place to live! It's understandable he is stressing! Moving is one of the most stressful things. You're stressing too and it's okay! 45 min is a stretch for some people, and for some people it isn't. You're not forcing anyone to do anything. He can choose for himself too. Wishing you all the best! And congratulations on getting approved

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